WEBVTT NOTE This file was generated by Descript 00:00:02.672 --> 00:00:03.932 Julia: Hello everyone. 00:00:03.932 --> 00:00:07.112 Thank you for joining us for Stress Busters for Parents. 00:00:07.112 --> 00:00:08.852 Put your oxygen mask on first. 00:00:09.152 --> 00:00:11.792 Today, Susannah will be talking about how to take care of your own 00:00:11.792 --> 00:00:14.792 mental health so you can better help your kids and others in your life. 00:00:15.332 --> 00:00:18.422 I'm pleased to introduce today's speaker,  Susannah Horwitz, a trauma 00:00:18.422 --> 00:00:22.652 informed, expressive arts therapist and licensed professional counselor with 00:00:22.652 --> 00:00:24.482 a private practice in Golden Colorado. 00:00:24.842 --> 00:00:27.512 She specializes in working with adolescent and young adult 00:00:27.512 --> 00:00:31.232 individuals seeking support for managing responses to anxiety, panic, 00:00:31.232 --> 00:00:33.212 depression, and post-traumatic stress. 00:00:33.842 --> 00:00:37.082 Before I hand the mic over to Susannah, I have a few housekeeping items 00:00:37.082 --> 00:00:38.702 to cover about this presentation. 00:00:39.212 --> 00:00:42.722 First, this webinar will be available on demand after the live session, and 00:00:42.722 --> 00:00:45.962 we'll email that out to you along with additional resources in the slide deck. 00:00:46.727 --> 00:00:50.777 I would also encourage you to visit our website, jcmh.org, where you'll 00:00:50.777 --> 00:00:53.477 find more information about how to get started if you're interested in 00:00:53.477 --> 00:00:57.317 talking with a therapist as well as blog posts and information about upcoming 00:00:57.317 --> 00:00:59.447 webinars on other mental health topics. 00:00:59.957 --> 00:01:02.567 Please keep your microphones muted and turn off your video 00:01:02.567 --> 00:01:03.767 during the presentation. 00:01:04.097 --> 00:01:06.797 You'll also want to change your zoom view to speaker mode for 00:01:06.797 --> 00:01:08.297 the best viewing experience. 00:01:08.867 --> 00:01:11.627 Next, we'd love to hear from you during today's presentation. 00:01:11.717 --> 00:01:14.597 If you have a question for our speaker, please feel free to send it through 00:01:14.597 --> 00:01:16.327 the chat at the bottom of your player. 00:01:16.807 --> 00:01:18.847 We'll be answering questions at the end of the session. 00:01:19.177 --> 00:01:21.817 If we don't get to your question during today's webinar, we'll 00:01:21.817 --> 00:01:23.137 be sure to follow up afterwards. 00:01:23.407 --> 00:01:26.527 And last, we'd like to encourage you to follow us on our social networks and 00:01:26.527 --> 00:01:30.307 share the recording of this webinar and other information about Jefferson Center. 00:01:30.727 --> 00:01:33.457 So without further ado, Susannah, I'll turn it over to you. 00:01:35.567 --> 00:01:38.387 Susannah: Thank you so much and thank you for everyone who was able to 00:01:38.387 --> 00:01:40.157 make it here in the middle of today. 00:01:40.187 --> 00:01:44.787 I know that some people may have been signed up for the workshop that 00:01:44.787 --> 00:01:48.487 had a lot of technical difficulties and I appreciate you wanting to come 00:01:48.487 --> 00:01:51.847 back and see what we're doing here. 00:01:52.147 --> 00:01:56.647 The title Stress Busters for Parents, put Your Oxygen Mask on first is as I 00:01:56.647 --> 00:02:00.867 mentioned to some of the people from JCMH who so graciously allowed me 00:02:00.867 --> 00:02:06.247 to do this today is really something that I resonate with a lot because 00:02:06.247 --> 00:02:09.427 not only am I a therapist, but I'm also a parent of a 7-year-old. 00:02:10.157 --> 00:02:13.997 It's interesting because a lot of what I am gonna be talking about 00:02:13.997 --> 00:02:18.707 today are things that maybe I would have used before I was a parent. 00:02:18.757 --> 00:02:23.377 I definitely would have worked with families and talked to kids and teens 00:02:23.377 --> 00:02:28.157 about in the past, but it's really, it hits home more and it's got a deeper 00:02:28.157 --> 00:02:30.197 meaning for me more now that I'm a parent. 00:02:30.777 --> 00:02:34.977 I have a sense of humor about a lot of things, but specifically about myself 00:02:35.467 --> 00:02:39.007 because I often think it's so funny that I am leading a workshop called 00:02:39.007 --> 00:02:42.127 Stress Busters for Parents, but you ask the mask on first because this is 00:02:42.127 --> 00:02:46.417 something that I actually need to, so just so you know, you are not alone. 00:02:46.537 --> 00:02:49.717 Just because I am presenting this does not mean that I don't need to 00:02:49.717 --> 00:02:54.437 practice it every single day and also forget to practice these things 00:02:54.437 --> 00:02:56.057 sometimes and need some reminders. 00:02:56.057 --> 00:02:59.987 I think I just want to start with just some intention setting. 00:03:01.667 --> 00:03:03.767 I'm gonna try to see if I can move this forward. 00:03:05.927 --> 00:03:10.187 To start off, I think just the basic gist of what I like to talk about when 00:03:10.187 --> 00:03:14.537 I'm talking about stress busting is starting with intention and you may have 00:03:14.537 --> 00:03:18.417 heard this all over the place, whether it's something that you've heard through 00:03:18.447 --> 00:03:23.467 guided meditations or yoga classes or exercise classes or something that you've 00:03:23.467 --> 00:03:27.367 done spiritually or with the church or synagogue or something like that. 00:03:27.697 --> 00:03:32.167 Intention setting often is just a way of pausing and being in the 00:03:32.167 --> 00:03:34.777 present moment, which is a lot of what I'm gonna be talking about today. 00:03:35.467 --> 00:03:37.687 Pausing and checking in and going, huh, where am. 00:03:40.072 --> 00:03:41.422 Okay, what's next? 00:03:41.842 --> 00:03:46.432 And so I think especially as parents, we have a lot of times where we're just 00:03:46.432 --> 00:03:50.212 running, running, running, and we don't take that time to really pause and kind 00:03:50.212 --> 00:03:52.432 of go, huh, well what's my intention here? 00:03:52.882 --> 00:03:57.012 Sometimes we say we don't have time, which really you're gonna see here today a lot 00:03:57.012 --> 00:03:58.332 of the things that I'm talking about. 00:03:58.782 --> 00:04:01.992 And again, I think we all need reminders about this intention 00:04:01.992 --> 00:04:05.462 setting and mindfulness practice and all of these things. 00:04:05.642 --> 00:04:10.172 It does not require more than maybe two or three seconds of your time 00:04:10.542 --> 00:04:11.562 and doing it throughout the day. 00:04:11.612 --> 00:04:14.432 The question is just to pause and think about for a moment, 00:04:15.032 --> 00:04:16.832 for today and this workshop. 00:04:16.832 --> 00:04:20.792 What brought you here today and what are you hoping to learn from this workshop? 00:04:20.822 --> 00:04:23.812 I don't know if there's a way for you to put this into a text box or something 00:04:23.812 --> 00:04:28.832 like that that we can look at later and answer some questions or maybe you can 00:04:28.832 --> 00:04:31.982 just write it down for yourself when we're doing questions and answers at the end. 00:04:32.522 --> 00:04:35.522 But it just might be something to pause and think about, even if you don't have 00:04:35.522 --> 00:04:38.912 pen and paper in front of you to write something down, but just thinking, 00:04:38.912 --> 00:04:40.442 what is it that brought you here today? 00:04:40.442 --> 00:04:41.492 Just something simple. 00:04:41.712 --> 00:04:45.282 What are you hoping to learn from this workshop so that then when we 00:04:45.282 --> 00:04:49.752 get to the end, you can maybe come back and return and go, Hmm, well, 00:04:49.962 --> 00:04:51.552 did I get the answer to my question? 00:04:51.552 --> 00:04:53.382 If not, let me see if I can ask it. 00:04:55.572 --> 00:04:59.012 Just gonna let ourselves think about that while we're moving into the next 00:04:59.012 --> 00:05:03.542 question, which is, why is it so important to put your oxygen mask on first? 00:05:03.592 --> 00:05:08.922 I'm sure that if those of you who have traveled via airplane know that this 00:05:08.922 --> 00:05:12.672 comes directly from the line that they will say to you on an airplane, which is 00:05:12.792 --> 00:05:18.322 if there's a loss of cabin pressure the oxygen masks will drop and please, if 00:05:18.322 --> 00:05:22.252 you are traveling with somebody who is maybe more vulnerable than you younger 00:05:22.252 --> 00:05:26.772 or an elder or something like that, please put your oxygen mask on first 00:05:26.772 --> 00:05:28.692 before putting on the mask of others. 00:05:28.742 --> 00:05:31.742 It's something that if we have traveled a lot, we've heard and we just hear it. 00:05:32.102 --> 00:05:35.432 I like to relate it as a metaphor for just life in general. 00:05:35.702 --> 00:05:38.732 And you may have heard this as a metaphor for life in general, but maybe not taken 00:05:38.732 --> 00:05:43.482 some time to really sit and think about it and what it means and how you can 00:05:43.482 --> 00:05:50.562 actually do this for yourself as a parent, not only as a parent, but also because 00:05:50.562 --> 00:05:56.592 we're in the midst of another worldwide stress of being a parent in a pandemic. 00:05:57.382 --> 00:06:02.122 So when we talk about oxygen, I know it triggers a lot of things about breathing. 00:06:02.222 --> 00:06:05.552 Both being in Colorado where there can be a lot of smoke at times and it's hard 00:06:05.552 --> 00:06:09.542 to breathe both the pandemic itself, which is causing respiratory issues. 00:06:09.842 --> 00:06:13.082 But generally when we come back to the idea of breathing, it is 00:06:13.082 --> 00:06:16.112 the very first thing that helps our brains and our nervous system 00:06:16.112 --> 00:06:17.372 do the work that it needs to do. 00:06:18.492 --> 00:06:22.212 So when you think about putting your oxygen mask on first, this can often look 00:06:22.212 --> 00:06:26.112 like a lot of things and a lot of what we see out there in the world right now, 00:06:26.112 --> 00:06:29.352 especially during the pandemic, where there's a lot of advice about self-care 00:06:29.352 --> 00:06:31.362 and take care of yourself and all this. 00:06:31.632 --> 00:06:34.092 A lot of times as parents we go, I don't have time for that. 00:06:34.422 --> 00:06:38.292 Or self-care looks a lot more pampering than I have the ability, the 00:06:38.292 --> 00:06:40.062 money, or the time to be able to do. 00:06:40.362 --> 00:06:43.932 So again, what we're gonna try to do today is pair that down and say, 00:06:44.442 --> 00:06:49.842 what kind of care can you provide for yourself so that you can provide care 00:06:49.842 --> 00:06:52.062 for others in the best way possible? 00:06:52.272 --> 00:06:54.072 It might only take three seconds. 00:06:54.072 --> 00:06:57.882 It might take a minute, but it doesn't have to be something that you're investing 00:06:57.882 --> 00:07:00.372 tons of time and energy and money into. 00:07:01.162 --> 00:07:03.742 So why is it so important to put your oxygen mask on first? 00:07:03.742 --> 00:07:08.002 Well, one of the things that you're gonna hear me repeat throughout today is that 00:07:08.527 --> 00:07:13.207 when we are activated in any way, shape, or form, and our emotions are up, when 00:07:13.207 --> 00:07:17.407 we start to think about lots of things and we're sort of just kind of like that 00:07:17.407 --> 00:07:22.147 feeling of just whatever stress feels like to us individually in our bodies, 00:07:22.597 --> 00:07:28.297 when we have activation happening in our nervous system, in our brains, we 00:07:28.297 --> 00:07:34.207 are less likely to be able to process incoming information that comes in. 00:07:34.987 --> 00:07:39.817 And we are also less likely to be able to produce communication, the kind of 00:07:39.817 --> 00:07:44.917 information that needs to come out through the logical processing of language or 00:07:44.917 --> 00:07:47.287 problem solving or decision making. 00:07:47.287 --> 00:07:51.662 Let's say you get stressed with a kid or kids or you are stressed about 00:07:51.662 --> 00:07:55.462 something at work or you're stressed with somebody in else in your family, a 00:07:55.462 --> 00:07:57.032 spouse, a partner, anything like that. 00:07:58.717 --> 00:08:01.297 And you get into a place where you're really heightened. 00:08:01.927 --> 00:08:05.797 I can almost guarantee, because I have experienced it and everybody I know 00:08:06.157 --> 00:08:10.567 has experienced this, when they really talk about it, we lose the ability 00:08:10.567 --> 00:08:14.617 to communicate in our main language. 00:08:15.187 --> 00:08:18.787 We lose the ability to communicate in any language whatsoever. 00:08:18.787 --> 00:08:21.217 We lose the ability to make decisions that we might normally 00:08:21.217 --> 00:08:22.477 be able to make if we're calmer. 00:08:22.477 --> 00:08:26.707 We lose the ability to process any kind of incoming information to 00:08:26.707 --> 00:08:28.867 where, that's why arguments escalate. 00:08:29.197 --> 00:08:32.407 Because two people, one might be saying something that's fairly clear 00:08:32.407 --> 00:08:36.607 when I'm calm, but when I'm escalated I can't process that information, I 00:08:36.607 --> 00:08:38.497 only see it one way and vice versa. 00:08:38.917 --> 00:08:42.967 So what we're trying to do is go, okay, well, in order to be able to 00:08:42.967 --> 00:08:47.422 interact with something that's gonna be stressful, parenting being one of them, 00:08:47.872 --> 00:08:52.042 we have to constantly come back to how do we put our oxygen mask on first? 00:08:52.162 --> 00:08:55.582 And for parents, it can times feel like, oh, well that's selfish. 00:08:55.832 --> 00:08:59.672 I'm focused on my kids and my kids only like they are such 00:08:59.732 --> 00:09:02.222 wonderful beings, and I wanna make sure that they're taken care of. 00:09:02.402 --> 00:09:03.242 Yes, you do. 00:09:03.632 --> 00:09:06.662 And the two seconds that it takes to take care of yourself so that 00:09:06.662 --> 00:09:10.472 you can help them in the best way possible is super, super important. 00:09:11.562 --> 00:09:14.772 So when we say, what is your oxygen mask and how can you learn to access it? 00:09:14.952 --> 00:09:16.812 You're gonna find out some of these things today. 00:09:16.812 --> 00:09:19.362 Or maybe even just be reminded, because some of these things might 00:09:19.362 --> 00:09:22.152 be things that you've already done in your life in some way, shape, or form. 00:09:22.902 --> 00:09:26.942 The oxygen mask might be going and taking a vacation, but it also 00:09:26.942 --> 00:09:30.902 might be just stopping and looking at a tree and feeling the bark. 00:09:32.072 --> 00:09:37.502 Or it might be holding the hand of your baby and just feeling it for 00:09:37.502 --> 00:09:40.712 three seconds and letting yourself really be in that sensory place. 00:09:40.712 --> 00:09:43.262 So a lot of what we're doing today too, we're gonna really be honing 00:09:43.262 --> 00:09:48.662 in on sensory present moments, sensory awareness, and very, very 00:09:48.662 --> 00:09:50.432 simple, simple sensory awareness. 00:09:50.852 --> 00:09:55.272 The thing that our brains often do is we're looking for problem solving methods, 00:09:55.632 --> 00:09:59.952 is we're often going above and beyond where our brains actually need to go in 00:09:59.952 --> 00:10:02.322 order to go into problem solving mode. 00:10:02.682 --> 00:10:05.472 So we're trying to analyze, analyze, analyze, and it's actually making 00:10:05.472 --> 00:10:07.182 things worse and more difficult. 00:10:07.972 --> 00:10:11.842 So a lot of these things that we're gonna be talking about today are about calming 00:10:11.842 --> 00:10:15.862 the nervous system so that your brain can process what it needs to process. 00:10:17.412 --> 00:10:20.322 I think it's important to recognize that self-care looks 00:10:20.322 --> 00:10:21.282 different in survival mode. 00:10:21.282 --> 00:10:25.332 Like I had said before, you may have heard things like, well go and 00:10:25.842 --> 00:10:27.792 make yourself a spa day at home. 00:10:27.792 --> 00:10:33.072 Or even simple things like go watch a movie or go for a walk. 00:10:33.402 --> 00:10:38.242 Sometimes when we are in a space of true survival and our brains, 00:10:38.242 --> 00:10:39.352 we might not recognize it. 00:10:39.352 --> 00:10:42.642 We're not like walking through the woods surviving, but our brains and our 00:10:42.672 --> 00:10:48.182 nervous system think that we are when we are in a heightened state of stress. 00:10:48.782 --> 00:10:51.692 And when we're in a heightened state of stress, the nervous system thinks 00:10:51.692 --> 00:10:55.232 that we are running from a predator or needing to fight something. 00:10:55.772 --> 00:10:58.082 So that's when we go into that fight or flight mode. 00:10:58.082 --> 00:11:01.802 Sometimes we can go there just a little bit and sometimes we might be there a lot. 00:11:02.452 --> 00:11:05.032 And when we find that we're there a lot that might be, and this is 00:11:05.032 --> 00:11:06.232 something I'll talk about the end too. 00:11:06.232 --> 00:11:10.522 It might be a good place to look into getting some extra support and help so 00:11:10.522 --> 00:11:14.352 that you can bring down that level of activation so you're not just living 00:11:14.352 --> 00:11:15.942 in fight or flight all the time. 00:11:16.252 --> 00:11:19.762 A lot of the people that I work with, whether it's children, teens or adults, 00:11:20.062 --> 00:11:23.382 that's where they're coming to me in that place of being like, you know, 00:11:23.382 --> 00:11:25.842 this is just where I am all the time. 00:11:27.102 --> 00:11:30.462 When we talk about survival mode, I feel like the whole world is experiencing 00:11:30.462 --> 00:11:31.722 it on different levels right now. 00:11:31.722 --> 00:11:33.042 You've got that level, right? 00:11:33.072 --> 00:11:37.302 And then underneath that you've got many varied levels of survival mode that 00:11:37.302 --> 00:11:41.142 some people deal with on a daily basis, whether it's because of experiences 00:11:41.142 --> 00:11:46.212 they've had personally in their own family or in just any aspect of their life. 00:11:46.572 --> 00:11:49.182 The survival mode has all these different layers to it. 00:11:49.182 --> 00:11:52.722 We can have the basic survival mode of like basic stress that 00:11:52.722 --> 00:11:54.642 humans experience on a daily basis. 00:11:54.912 --> 00:11:58.932 Then we've got the layer of being a parent, what we experience on a daily 00:11:58.932 --> 00:12:03.562 basis as a parent through baby all the way through older adult children. 00:12:04.102 --> 00:12:07.132 And then we've got all these other different things that come into our 00:12:07.132 --> 00:12:10.902 individual aspects of our lives that cause that kind of constant stress. 00:12:10.902 --> 00:12:13.452 And then we've got the worldwide pandemic and whatever that 00:12:13.452 --> 00:12:15.522 means attached to those things. 00:12:15.822 --> 00:12:18.432 So you can see, even as I'm talking about it, I kind of 00:12:18.432 --> 00:12:20.052 feel like, ugh, that's a lot. 00:12:20.512 --> 00:12:24.252 And I can feel it in my body where it's starts to rise a little bit. 00:12:25.062 --> 00:12:30.102 So what we do in trauma-informed therapy is we are basically, what 00:12:30.102 --> 00:12:34.562 I find my job is to help you learn how to feel bad and be okay with it. 00:12:35.642 --> 00:12:37.932 Because we're all gonna feel negative feelings. 00:12:37.932 --> 00:12:40.272 We're gonna have negative thoughts, we're gonna have negative experiences, 00:12:40.572 --> 00:12:45.702 but it's being able to not feel like it's taking over your life and be able 00:12:45.702 --> 00:12:49.932 to do different kinds of practices, to be able to turn down the volume on 00:12:49.932 --> 00:12:53.232 the stress, turn down the volume on the negativity, to then turn up the 00:12:53.232 --> 00:12:56.962 volume on the positive experiences to create a lot more balance and stability. 00:12:57.202 --> 00:13:00.712 Right now, what I think the whole world is feeling is a lot of instability. 00:13:01.022 --> 00:13:03.962 So trauma-informed practices really help with that. 00:13:03.992 --> 00:13:07.502 And I think that's why it's really important that we go to those at this 00:13:07.742 --> 00:13:11.992 time, especially as parents, to go okay, how do I find that stability? 00:13:11.992 --> 00:13:16.672 And even as I'm doing this too, you can notice balance is not one 00:13:16.672 --> 00:13:18.022 thing just straight all the time. 00:13:18.022 --> 00:13:20.782 Balance is always, if you looked really closely at scales, you 00:13:20.782 --> 00:13:22.222 would see them moving all the time. 00:13:22.762 --> 00:13:25.102 So there's always a little bit of energy that's being put 00:13:25.102 --> 00:13:26.632 into creating that balance. 00:13:26.632 --> 00:13:29.062 Sometimes more, sometimes less. 00:13:30.187 --> 00:13:33.007 So we're drawing on trauma-informed practices to understand the need 00:13:33.277 --> 00:13:36.967 for meeting those basic needs, and finding a sense of stability in the 00:13:36.967 --> 00:13:44.207 midst of survival, which again, you'll see there's only a little bit of 00:13:44.237 --> 00:13:47.867 energy and effort that you have to put into this to get a lot of return. 00:13:48.087 --> 00:13:51.867 So adjusting to those new varied layers of a new normal, and this is what 00:13:51.867 --> 00:13:54.387 I was just talking about, grieving a loss of what was known before. 00:13:54.387 --> 00:13:58.117 So you also may have heard that a lot of what's going on is we're grieving and 00:13:58.117 --> 00:14:02.887 in grieving their stress because we are trying to adjust to what is different. 00:14:03.437 --> 00:14:06.737 Again, with all these varied layers, everybody's experience might be 00:14:06.737 --> 00:14:10.107 different, but we're all experiencing some level of a new normal, and 00:14:10.107 --> 00:14:11.367 at some level of new stress. 00:14:13.092 --> 00:14:15.042 So grieving the loss of what was known before. 00:14:15.042 --> 00:14:18.162 We're grieving the loss of what was known before as our individual self, 00:14:18.162 --> 00:14:21.162 as individuals in relationship with others in our environment, in the 00:14:21.162 --> 00:14:25.842 greater world as parents, and then as all of these in the midst of an ongoing 00:14:25.842 --> 00:14:27.312 pandemic, as I had mentioned before. 00:14:28.329 --> 00:14:31.179 So one of the things that I think is important when we're looking at 00:14:31.179 --> 00:14:34.509 survival, again, I said, we're not obviously in the wilderness, but it 00:14:34.779 --> 00:14:37.179 feels to our nervous system that we are. 00:14:37.569 --> 00:14:41.049 So before I became a therapist and went to grad school and became a 00:14:41.049 --> 00:14:45.449 private practice therapist years later, I actually worked in wilderness 00:14:45.549 --> 00:14:48.669 education and environmental education. 00:14:48.669 --> 00:14:50.349 So basically I worked at a camp year round. 00:14:50.349 --> 00:14:51.399 It was a really fun job. 00:14:51.939 --> 00:14:56.319 One of the things that really inspired me to do was to go into being a counselor. 00:14:57.039 --> 00:14:59.889 And there were a lot of things that came up in our lessons that I 00:14:59.889 --> 00:15:01.059 thought were really, really cool. 00:15:01.059 --> 00:15:03.429 And this is stuff that you can talk to your kids about as well. 00:15:03.869 --> 00:15:07.589 One of the classes that we taught was called Wilderness Survival. 00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:11.039 They would come for maybe three days and do lessons that went along with 00:15:11.039 --> 00:15:14.729 their lesson plans and stay overnight and have a fun camp experience as well. 00:15:14.969 --> 00:15:18.689 But a lot of what was coming out of these lessons I started to realize was a lot 00:15:18.689 --> 00:15:25.549 deeper than just the educational level of learning the facts and understanding it. 00:15:25.579 --> 00:15:28.279 It was, oh, how does this actually relate to our lives? 00:15:28.329 --> 00:15:32.679 Now as a therapist and a little bit less than what I did before, but now 00:15:32.679 --> 00:15:37.269 as a therapist here in Colorado, I am using my training and I actually, I 00:15:37.269 --> 00:15:39.799 didn't mention this, but the expressive arts therapy training, that was my 00:15:39.799 --> 00:15:45.549 master's training was using art, music, dance movement, theater and imagination 00:15:45.549 --> 00:15:49.209 and bringing all of that into therapy with people and again, with kids, 00:15:49.209 --> 00:15:51.279 with teens and with older adults. 00:15:51.609 --> 00:15:55.959 It works really well with a lot of things where we don't feel like we have 00:15:55.959 --> 00:15:57.729 the words to process things sometimes. 00:15:58.299 --> 00:16:02.289 I started to pull in other modalities, realizing that being in nature and 00:16:02.289 --> 00:16:05.919 being in the wilderness and being in that sort of play space and using your 00:16:05.919 --> 00:16:10.869 senses in the same way that we do in the arts can also really help us find 00:16:10.869 --> 00:16:15.729 our stability and help create a lot of that balance and just reconnecting to 00:16:15.729 --> 00:16:17.409 what's around us can help us with that. 00:16:18.009 --> 00:16:21.519 So one of the things, just bringing it back to that wilderness survival class 00:16:21.549 --> 00:16:26.739 that I remembered and that I often bring in is understanding the idea 00:16:26.739 --> 00:16:30.699 of what we need, what are our basic needs for survival in the wilderness? 00:16:31.119 --> 00:16:35.479 And when we come to this idea of feeling stressed and feeling unstable, we're 00:16:35.479 --> 00:16:36.769 feeling like we're in the wilderness. 00:16:36.769 --> 00:16:38.209 We are like, where are we? 00:16:38.209 --> 00:16:39.529 I need to figure out where I'm going. 00:16:39.529 --> 00:16:39.829 Right? 00:16:40.129 --> 00:16:42.649 But before we get to any of that, we have to make sure we're 00:16:42.649 --> 00:16:44.689 meeting our basic, basic needs. 00:16:45.109 --> 00:16:49.179 And so one of the first lessons we would ask is how long do you think 00:16:49.179 --> 00:16:51.669 that you would be able to survive in the wilderness without food? 00:16:52.219 --> 00:16:54.859 These are all very generalized answers because obviously this would 00:16:54.859 --> 00:16:57.679 be dependent on different individual experiences, but this has been studied 00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:02.649 and researched, and this is what we've come up with, is that you could survive 00:17:02.649 --> 00:17:06.969 in the wilderness without food for about three weeks, and then we move to water. 00:17:07.059 --> 00:17:09.899 Okay how long do you think you could survive in the wilderness without water? 00:17:10.679 --> 00:17:11.939 Oh, about three days. 00:17:11.969 --> 00:17:12.329 Okay. 00:17:12.329 --> 00:17:14.159 So you really absolutely need water. 00:17:14.529 --> 00:17:17.629 Then we get to, what would it take, if you didn't have warmth 00:17:17.629 --> 00:17:21.469 shelter, or really it's the ability to regulate your body temperature. 00:17:22.469 --> 00:17:24.209 The answer to that one was three hours. 00:17:24.209 --> 00:17:26.789 So we wanna make sure that we have warm clothes, we wanna make sure 00:17:26.789 --> 00:17:28.259 that we have a proper shelter. 00:17:28.259 --> 00:17:31.649 We wanna make sure that our temperature is regulated in a way so that we don't 00:17:32.189 --> 00:17:35.639 become sick or, things start to shut down. 00:17:37.199 --> 00:17:40.319 And then we move to how long could you survive without oxygen, 00:17:40.349 --> 00:17:41.609 without being able to breathe? 00:17:42.099 --> 00:17:44.709 The generalized answer is about three minutes. 00:17:45.649 --> 00:17:48.619 Then we go down and we'd say, but there's one more thing that 00:17:48.619 --> 00:17:50.389 we have to have to survive. 00:17:50.749 --> 00:17:53.119 And basically we call that the will to live. 00:17:53.119 --> 00:17:55.869 You can attach that to anything that you relate to. 00:17:56.209 --> 00:17:59.239 It might be a sense of hope, it might be something within your 00:17:59.239 --> 00:18:00.829 own spirituality or religion. 00:18:00.829 --> 00:18:05.159 It might be just thinking of a family member that you really wanna live for. 00:18:05.159 --> 00:18:08.784 It might be a purpose in your life that you want to live for. 00:18:10.359 --> 00:18:12.969 Generally what we would say is without that, we would 00:18:12.969 --> 00:18:14.439 only last about three seconds. 00:18:14.439 --> 00:18:19.179 Now, again, this is very generalized, but what they have found is that when 00:18:19.179 --> 00:18:23.409 people are feeling really low on all of these different things, or they're in 00:18:23.409 --> 00:18:27.359 the wilderness and they don't have these things, the one thing that most people 00:18:27.359 --> 00:18:31.979 have to be able to move forward and find these things is having that hope and 00:18:31.979 --> 00:18:34.619 that will even just for a split second. 00:18:34.779 --> 00:18:37.389 Sometimes it can come in an image or it can come in some sort of 00:18:37.389 --> 00:18:41.369 vision for somebody, but it's just this idea that we have that. 00:18:41.369 --> 00:18:44.519 Now it might be something that we all have, but we can strengthen it. 00:18:45.199 --> 00:18:47.809 This sense of purpose to be able to get what we need. 00:18:48.049 --> 00:18:48.379 Right? 00:18:49.559 --> 00:18:55.749 That also requires being able to be practiced at knowing and being 00:18:55.749 --> 00:18:58.989 able to turn down the volume on that activation in the nervous system 00:18:58.989 --> 00:19:00.639 so that we don't go into freeze. 00:19:00.639 --> 00:19:03.999 So when we are supposed to go into fight or flight, sometimes 00:19:03.999 --> 00:19:07.539 we feel like we cannot do either and we go into a freeze state. 00:19:07.539 --> 00:19:09.339 Animals go into fight or flight, right? 00:19:09.789 --> 00:19:13.369 When they are actually being attacked and eaten it's also been shown that they 00:19:13.369 --> 00:19:17.389 go into a free state where everything kind of shuts down so that they are not 00:19:17.449 --> 00:19:21.979 feeling the amount of pain, the intensity of pain, of being eaten by their predator. 00:19:22.559 --> 00:19:26.294 As humans also have the capacity to get to a place where things can shut 00:19:26.294 --> 00:19:28.804 down so much that we're just numb. 00:19:29.204 --> 00:19:33.014 What we wanna do is strengthen the ability to not have to go into that 00:19:33.014 --> 00:19:37.754 place and that if we are in fight or flight, we can do things to manage it so 00:19:37.754 --> 00:19:39.524 that it doesn't go into a freeze state. 00:19:40.994 --> 00:19:45.284 When we are emotionally activated in any way, our capacity to process 00:19:45.284 --> 00:19:49.564 logical information such as language or problem solving is often significantly 00:19:49.564 --> 00:19:51.934 reduced because our brains are receiving signals to move into the 00:19:51.934 --> 00:19:54.214 survival fight, flight, or freeze mode. 00:19:54.644 --> 00:19:57.884 In order to reduce activation, our nervous systems actually need to access 00:19:57.884 --> 00:20:02.264 a sense of safety, and that safety is gonna allow us to be stable enough 00:20:02.534 --> 00:20:06.344 to be able to meet whatever else is coming at us so that we can really 00:20:06.344 --> 00:20:07.904 approach it in the most effective way. 00:20:10.284 --> 00:20:12.024 We're gonna do some experiential things today. 00:20:12.024 --> 00:20:16.484 I'm not just gonna talk at you for the rest of this time and allow you the chance 00:20:16.484 --> 00:20:20.094 to practice some of these things and maybe find other spaces and places where you 00:20:20.094 --> 00:20:21.684 can continue to practice these things. 00:20:22.054 --> 00:20:24.484 Quick stress buster tools part one. 00:20:24.484 --> 00:20:26.014 Simple sensory awareness. 00:20:26.294 --> 00:20:30.659 It might not feel simple at certain times, but we have to break it down into 00:20:30.659 --> 00:20:36.519 simplicity so that when we are at our most stressed, we know that we don't have to do 00:20:36.549 --> 00:20:38.919 the quote unquote regular coping skills. 00:20:38.919 --> 00:20:42.559 Like I can't even reach for the phone right now, so what do I do before that? 00:20:42.919 --> 00:20:45.199 I can't even stand up and get outta my bed. 00:20:45.199 --> 00:20:46.489 So what do I do before that? 00:20:47.159 --> 00:20:49.859 This kind of practice allows us to get into that. 00:20:49.989 --> 00:20:54.799 I'm going describe and invite you to try one or more of the five senses to discover 00:20:54.799 --> 00:21:01.009 what is actually happening in this present moment outside of our own thoughts and 00:21:01.009 --> 00:21:03.749 emotions about the past or the future. 00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:07.279 When we get caught up in our thoughts or our emotions, it's usually about 00:21:07.279 --> 00:21:09.589 something that's about the past or something about the future. 00:21:09.889 --> 00:21:13.279 It could be a response to something that's happening in the present moment. 00:21:14.329 --> 00:21:18.379 But when we go into pure simple sensory awareness, we're 00:21:18.379 --> 00:21:19.609 letting ourselves separate. 00:21:19.609 --> 00:21:22.159 We're not pushing away thoughts and getting rid of them or 00:21:22.369 --> 00:21:23.179 avoiding them in some way. 00:21:23.179 --> 00:21:26.829 We're just noting them and then coming back to what am I seeing, hearing, 00:21:27.159 --> 00:21:29.469 feeling, smelling, tasting, all of that. 00:21:30.999 --> 00:21:33.699 We will start with a couple of exercises for shifting from 00:21:33.699 --> 00:21:35.379 doing mode into being mode. 00:21:35.429 --> 00:21:40.839 The first exercise I'm gonna invite you to try is a simple sensory thing to ground 00:21:40.839 --> 00:21:44.319 yourself into one thing in the present moment that's either pleasant or neutral. 00:21:44.319 --> 00:21:48.009 When we go to visual sense first, that can be a place of safety. 00:21:48.009 --> 00:21:52.819 We can do this in a tactile way as well if visual is not your first and 00:21:52.859 --> 00:21:57.639 most primary place to feel stable, then you can use tactile sense as well. 00:21:57.639 --> 00:22:01.299 So either looking around and connecting with something neutral or pleasant 00:22:01.729 --> 00:22:04.399 in the present moment or tactiley. 00:22:04.399 --> 00:22:11.359 Just scan around moving my head around the room a little bit until my eyes land on 00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:13.579 something that feels neutral or pleasant. 00:22:16.289 --> 00:22:21.339 Then the next step is to tell somebody near you what you're seeing and 00:22:21.339 --> 00:22:23.619 describing in a really concrete way. 00:22:23.619 --> 00:22:28.619 What I'm seeing, that you can't see, is a painting of stacked rocks on top 00:22:28.619 --> 00:22:31.079 of each other with some soft colors. 00:22:33.159 --> 00:22:36.739 I'm just noticing that it's got some yellows and it's got some greens in it. 00:22:37.669 --> 00:22:39.379 Then I go to the rocks themselves. 00:22:39.379 --> 00:22:43.579 They've got a nice round shape that feels calming to me and I'm 00:22:43.579 --> 00:22:46.144 noticing a sense of pleasantness. 00:22:46.574 --> 00:22:49.574 You might look around and go, okay, well I can't find anything pleasant. 00:22:49.574 --> 00:22:50.624 So what about neutral? 00:22:50.654 --> 00:22:52.694 Okay, that wall feels pretty neutral to me. 00:22:53.174 --> 00:22:56.474 Just a tan color and flat and smooth. 00:22:57.074 --> 00:22:59.294 So that's visually we're doing that first step. 00:22:59.304 --> 00:23:02.894 If you're using your tactile sense is just letting yourself feel what your 00:23:02.894 --> 00:23:07.754 feet feel like in your shoes on the ground, or using your hands to feel, 00:23:07.814 --> 00:23:12.134 I'm feeling a smooth table and then I'm describing to myself or to somebody else. 00:23:12.784 --> 00:23:13.624 What does it feel like? 00:23:13.624 --> 00:23:14.554 It feels smooth. 00:23:15.424 --> 00:23:17.944 It feels a little bit cool, but not too much. 00:23:17.944 --> 00:23:19.174 It's a neutral feeling. 00:23:20.119 --> 00:23:22.099 I'm just letting my hands sink into that feeling. 00:23:22.099 --> 00:23:26.219 Then the next step is letting yourself just be there for a few seconds. 00:23:26.819 --> 00:23:29.819 It might lead you to being there for a few seconds to a couple of minutes, 00:23:30.209 --> 00:23:35.849 but it's just allowing yourself to do something that simple and looking 00:23:35.849 --> 00:23:38.369 at it, and maybe both of them. 00:23:38.369 --> 00:23:41.069 So I'm feeling the table and I'm looking at this painting, 00:23:43.529 --> 00:23:46.079 letting myself just pause for a minute and just take it in. 00:23:46.919 --> 00:23:50.579 It's almost like you're like taking a vacation into it, but still it's 00:23:50.579 --> 00:23:53.939 a vacation into something that is happening in this present moment. 00:23:57.269 --> 00:24:00.869 You might notice maybe after a few moments that your breathing starts 00:24:00.869 --> 00:24:02.729 to deepen slow down on its own. 00:24:04.139 --> 00:24:07.219 You might notice that something that felt tense before slows down. 00:24:07.219 --> 00:24:09.699 I'm noticing that my shoulders dropped a little bit. 00:24:11.259 --> 00:24:14.529 I'm noticing that I can feel my body sitting here in this present moment 00:24:14.529 --> 00:24:19.329 a little bit more when I'm doing this, not caught up in what the next 00:24:19.329 --> 00:24:23.019 thing is and what I need to say and how somebody's gonna perceive it. 00:24:23.889 --> 00:24:25.989 I'm just noting, oh, it's just a painting. 00:24:26.199 --> 00:24:27.219 It's just a feeling. 00:24:27.249 --> 00:24:28.299 Oh, it just feels smooth. 00:24:29.439 --> 00:24:31.359 So that is one example. 00:24:31.389 --> 00:24:35.769 The next exercise that builds on that is called the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 exercise. 00:24:35.769 --> 00:24:39.399 Basically we're just gonna notice five things in your present moment 00:24:39.399 --> 00:24:45.159 environment that you can see and you're gonna make note of them. 00:24:45.159 --> 00:24:48.519 You can use a journal to do this, you can just say it out loud, you can 00:24:48.519 --> 00:24:52.359 just say it to yourself, five things, different things that you can see. 00:24:52.359 --> 00:24:55.119 So I'm gonna go around and you can describe things about them. 00:24:55.149 --> 00:24:58.719 Oh, I see a yellow Lego in this box. 00:25:00.219 --> 00:25:04.329 And the next thing I see is a purple folder. 00:25:04.379 --> 00:25:08.339 Then a third thing that I see is a tree branch on the wall. 00:25:08.389 --> 00:25:12.049 I see lines and different kinds of shapes inside of the tree branches. 00:25:13.064 --> 00:25:15.374 Another thing I see is a light over here in the corner. 00:25:15.374 --> 00:25:17.554 It's kind of soft, but I can still see the light. 00:25:17.554 --> 00:25:19.774 It's a little orangey, a little bit of a pink in it. 00:25:21.164 --> 00:25:24.704 Then the fifth thing that I can see is a tea kettle in the corner. 00:25:25.154 --> 00:25:28.094 It's got like a cork handle and it's black and smooth. 00:25:29.354 --> 00:25:32.714 So then once we've done those five things, then we move on to 00:25:32.714 --> 00:25:35.174 four things that we can feel. 00:25:35.174 --> 00:25:36.704 I might say again, the table. 00:25:36.704 --> 00:25:37.634 Oh, it feels smooth. 00:25:37.974 --> 00:25:40.134 The computer, it feels a little bit warmer. 00:25:40.194 --> 00:25:41.274 I'm feeling the laptop. 00:25:41.274 --> 00:25:42.324 This part right here. 00:25:42.504 --> 00:25:42.654 Okay. 00:25:42.654 --> 00:25:43.554 Let me just feel that. 00:25:44.064 --> 00:25:46.014 Okay, so then two more things. 00:25:46.074 --> 00:25:48.114 Oh, I can feel this book. 00:25:48.189 --> 00:25:50.319 I feel the pages, oh, that feels smooth. 00:25:51.009 --> 00:25:55.579 And then a fourth thing is I feel my sweater that I'm wearing right now, that 00:25:55.579 --> 00:25:57.019 feels a little bit smooth right here. 00:25:58.409 --> 00:26:01.709 We're running through these different things and just going, okay, five 00:26:01.709 --> 00:26:05.999 things you can see, four things that you can feel, three separate sounds 00:26:05.999 --> 00:26:08.579 that you can hear, and this sometimes, again, it might be difficult, but 00:26:08.579 --> 00:26:09.809 that's why there's only three. 00:26:10.319 --> 00:26:13.619 I can hear the worrying of the fan on my computer. 00:26:15.389 --> 00:26:18.689 I can hear some outside sounds going in and coming out. 00:26:19.439 --> 00:26:20.879 I can hear the sound of my own voice. 00:26:23.069 --> 00:26:24.629 Then two things you can smell. 00:26:25.829 --> 00:26:29.099 Sometimes it's I have to look for something to smell. 00:26:31.049 --> 00:26:34.979 I can smell my jacket, smells a little bit different than just the air. 00:26:35.279 --> 00:26:38.999 Sometimes it's just, oh, I can just feel the sensation of the air coming 00:26:38.999 --> 00:26:40.319 in through my nose as I breathe in. 00:26:40.319 --> 00:26:43.559 This is also a nice little trick because when you pause and notice 00:26:43.559 --> 00:26:46.949 two things you can smell, you're actually pausing to take in a breath 00:26:49.409 --> 00:26:50.399 and then letting it out. 00:26:52.839 --> 00:26:55.839 Then one thing you can taste, and I always tell people it's okay 00:26:55.839 --> 00:26:56.979 they don't have to be pleasant. 00:26:57.739 --> 00:26:59.179 They can be neutral or unpleasant. 00:26:59.189 --> 00:27:03.839 Tasting maybe just a really neutral kind of saliva taste in my mouth. 00:27:05.549 --> 00:27:08.849 But again, something that we don't pay as much attention to all the time. 00:27:09.129 --> 00:27:12.249 One thing you can notice about the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 exercise is that when we 00:27:12.249 --> 00:27:15.819 do this, it actually stretches out the amount of time that we're giving to 00:27:15.819 --> 00:27:20.289 ourself to pause and use our sensory awareness to be in the present moment. 00:27:20.679 --> 00:27:23.319 You might get distracted by thoughts or other things pulling 00:27:23.319 --> 00:27:24.669 you away while you're doing it. 00:27:24.939 --> 00:27:26.229 You can always come back to it. 00:27:26.869 --> 00:27:29.149 Sometimes people will practice this exercise and they say, well, 00:27:29.149 --> 00:27:32.539 I only got to five and four, but then I felt a little better, so 00:27:32.839 --> 00:27:34.249 okay, I moved on to the next thing. 00:27:34.609 --> 00:27:35.389 That's fine too. 00:27:35.389 --> 00:27:39.879 It's just a way of stretching out the the ability to be in that present moment. 00:27:43.789 --> 00:27:47.699 Another thing that you can think about is the idea of shifting perspective. 00:27:47.699 --> 00:27:49.979 This also helps with a sensory present moment. 00:27:49.979 --> 00:27:53.359 We've done a little bit of this when we did the exercises that we just did, 00:27:54.979 --> 00:27:59.089 but shifting perspective, outdoors, indoors, or in the midst of any activity. 00:27:59.089 --> 00:28:02.209 What shifting your perspective does is it tells a brain and nervous 00:28:02.209 --> 00:28:05.359 system that something else is happening besides what is unpleasant. 00:28:06.719 --> 00:28:10.079 This is why I tell people, just turn your head or shifting your body position. 00:28:10.079 --> 00:28:13.739 If you're in a really deep depressed state and you're able to 00:28:13.789 --> 00:28:16.294 turn your eyes or turn your head. 00:28:16.294 --> 00:28:19.804 This can take practice so that before we get into a depressed state, we're 00:28:19.804 --> 00:28:21.934 able to recall it and remember to do it. 00:28:21.934 --> 00:28:24.814 That's why we practice these things when we're feeling a little bit 00:28:24.814 --> 00:28:28.804 less activated so that the brain can process it and understand it even more. 00:28:29.164 --> 00:28:32.764 But even as you do this experientially, your brain takes it in even more than 00:28:32.764 --> 00:28:33.964 if we were just talking about it. 00:28:33.964 --> 00:28:36.784 So if you just take a moment to notice, okay, I'm looking 00:28:36.784 --> 00:28:37.834 at a computer screen now. 00:28:37.834 --> 00:28:41.434 If I turn my head and look this way, oh yeah, I tell my brain 00:28:41.434 --> 00:28:42.664 that something else is happening 00:28:45.184 --> 00:28:48.664 and then if I shift my body position, if I stretch, oh, I didn't realize 00:28:48.664 --> 00:28:50.194 that I was sitting kind of scrunch. 00:28:50.194 --> 00:28:53.944 So maybe my body needs to just move a little bit and shift. 00:28:54.704 --> 00:28:58.634 The other thing is that you can do just as a specific exercise to help 00:28:58.634 --> 00:29:02.174 with perspective and help your nervous system understand shifting perspective 00:29:02.474 --> 00:29:06.344 are actually play-based type of things that I think all adults have the 00:29:06.344 --> 00:29:09.314 ability to do just as much as kids, but you can do this with your kids. 00:29:09.364 --> 00:29:13.269 It's about different kinds of ways of seeing or taking in the 00:29:13.269 --> 00:29:15.099 world with a keyhole perspective. 00:29:15.729 --> 00:29:19.269 You might stop and go, okay I'm seeing all this stuff around me. 00:29:19.269 --> 00:29:24.159 What if I just did this and put my hands in a shape where I'm just looking 00:29:24.159 --> 00:29:28.449 through them and just paying attention to what I see within that little space. 00:29:28.819 --> 00:29:30.439 You might even wanna do different shapes. 00:29:30.439 --> 00:29:33.649 Maybe you can make a heart and what do I see just within that space? 00:29:34.199 --> 00:29:36.989 If you move into an upside down perspective, this can be rather fun. 00:29:37.499 --> 00:29:41.309 And you're basically just like either standing up and turning upside 00:29:41.309 --> 00:29:42.869 down and looking at what you see. 00:29:43.701 --> 00:29:47.261 It tells the brain and the nervous system, ooh, that's different and it 00:29:47.261 --> 00:29:49.631 shifts the perspective of everything. 00:29:50.515 --> 00:29:52.955 Then the last thing I have on here is called Fox walking. 00:29:52.955 --> 00:29:56.715 It's something that I derive from a wilderness therapy training which I 00:29:56.715 --> 00:29:59.655 think is kind of fun and again, it's fun with kids, but it's also something 00:29:59.655 --> 00:30:04.735 that can help us shift our perspective is understanding a lot of the sensory 00:30:04.735 --> 00:30:06.505 stuff, this is what animals do anyway. 00:30:06.865 --> 00:30:11.545 So if we think about a fox and how it walks when it's looking for prey, there 00:30:11.545 --> 00:30:13.345 is a specific way that it's walking. 00:30:13.345 --> 00:30:14.395 It's a sensory way. 00:30:14.445 --> 00:30:19.325 Walking with heel to the toe and slowly putting down your feet and 00:30:19.325 --> 00:30:20.765 noticing what that feels like. 00:30:21.065 --> 00:30:23.855 You can also shift that perspective and start from toe to heel. 00:30:24.770 --> 00:30:25.760 And move the other way. 00:30:26.030 --> 00:30:27.620 I might be getting this wrong scientifically. 00:30:27.620 --> 00:30:30.320 I don't know if Fox's walk one way or the other, but basically the 00:30:30.320 --> 00:30:36.890 idea is that you are slowing down your awareness of what your feet do 00:30:36.980 --> 00:30:38.720 or what they may do all the time. 00:30:39.270 --> 00:30:44.500 This also assumes accessibility to being able to use your feet in that way. 00:30:45.070 --> 00:30:47.230 There are all different ways that this can be modified. 00:30:47.230 --> 00:30:51.900 If somebody is in a wheelchair and they can't use their feet they can use other 00:30:51.900 --> 00:30:56.160 senses that might be stronger for them to be able to shift their perspective. 00:30:58.060 --> 00:31:01.090 I should say that I've actually worked with people in those situations too. 00:31:01.090 --> 00:31:05.310 There's a whole faction of people who I work with who have physical and 00:31:05.310 --> 00:31:08.730 developmental disabilities, and we've been able to do a lot of these things as well. 00:31:11.265 --> 00:31:13.635 So we're talking a lot about mindfulness. 00:31:13.635 --> 00:31:17.115 It's paying attention in a particular way on purpose in the present moment. 00:31:17.115 --> 00:31:20.205 Nonjudgmentally, that's a quote that comes from John Kabat-Zinn, who had been 00:31:20.205 --> 00:31:22.755 a researcher at UMass Medical School. 00:31:23.065 --> 00:31:26.725 He did a lot of research starting in the seventies with a lot of different 00:31:26.725 --> 00:31:31.795 people that basically brought the idea of meditation into the medical world. 00:31:31.795 --> 00:31:36.275 They were able to use the language of neuroscience and medical language 00:31:36.635 --> 00:31:41.975 to basically transfer what's already been done in spiritual practices and 00:31:42.345 --> 00:31:46.185 cultural practices all over the world for thousands of years into a place 00:31:46.185 --> 00:31:49.455 where now they're writing books about it and saying, oh, look, an MRI says that 00:31:49.455 --> 00:31:53.055 this helps change your brain so that people can bring this more in the medical 00:31:53.055 --> 00:31:57.285 field and notice ways that this can help change and shift our perspective on 00:31:57.285 --> 00:32:02.880 chronic pain and illness on depression, anxiety, trauma, PTSD, all of it. 00:32:05.410 --> 00:32:11.200 Another way of being able to do this kind of mindful practice is using 00:32:11.280 --> 00:32:12.840 things that go into the breath. 00:32:13.030 --> 00:32:15.670 We're grounded enough to be able to go into the breath and 00:32:15.670 --> 00:32:16.810 do something with the breath. 00:32:17.170 --> 00:32:21.040 So one of the things that you may have heard or maybe practiced before, but 00:32:21.040 --> 00:32:25.240 is used very often is something called rock box breathing or square breathing. 00:32:25.610 --> 00:32:27.590 The basic gist is just what it says here. 00:32:27.620 --> 00:32:29.410 It's a slow exhale. 00:32:29.440 --> 00:32:33.070 So I always say, okay, let your belly soften and let it out so that you can 00:32:33.070 --> 00:32:34.840 have space to breathe back in again. 00:32:34.840 --> 00:32:37.390 Because a lot of times when somebody tells you to breathe, the first thing we try 00:32:37.390 --> 00:32:41.800 to do is our breath is already being held in and we try to breathe and it can cause 00:32:41.800 --> 00:32:43.780 almost like a hyperventilation response. 00:32:44.140 --> 00:32:47.140 So in order to fully breathe, sometimes when we're in that heightened 00:32:47.140 --> 00:32:48.850 state, we have to let it out. 00:32:48.850 --> 00:32:52.830 So we almost have to drop in and let our body drop as much as possible. 00:32:53.130 --> 00:32:56.430 Let the belly come out a little bit so that it can have enough space 00:32:56.640 --> 00:32:59.040 to slowly inhale for four counts. 00:32:59.040 --> 00:33:11.550 So you're breathing in 2, 3, 4, lightly hold, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4. 00:33:12.060 --> 00:33:15.490 Lightly hold 2, 3, 4. 00:33:15.610 --> 00:33:17.740 They call it box breathing because it's four, right? 00:33:17.740 --> 00:33:22.540 So it's four seconds in four seconds hold. 00:33:23.635 --> 00:33:28.495 Four, four counts, exhale, and then four counts lightly hold again. 00:33:28.495 --> 00:33:32.155 And you can do this as much as you need to, but it's just let it out. 00:33:32.275 --> 00:33:33.055 Inhale, 00:33:35.695 --> 00:33:44.575 hold, 2, 3, 4, exhale, 2, 3, 4, hold, 2, 3, 4. 00:33:44.635 --> 00:33:47.840 I notice even when I do that, especially in the midst of talking and doing a 00:33:47.840 --> 00:33:52.880 presentation might be really slight, but for me it just like, whew, 00:33:53.150 --> 00:33:54.440 everything just sort of dropped. 00:33:55.850 --> 00:33:58.970 So then the next thing that I do a lot with people is a guided body scan. 00:33:58.970 --> 00:34:01.820 And this is something that you can find on all different kinds of 00:34:01.820 --> 00:34:03.370 websites, different kinds of apps. 00:34:03.370 --> 00:34:06.160 I have a link to something called Headspace at the end that does a lot 00:34:06.160 --> 00:34:10.720 of wonderful guided meditations, and a lot of those meditations involve a 00:34:10.720 --> 00:34:12.760 body scan or some part of a body scan. 00:34:13.280 --> 00:34:15.800 But if you have questions about that, you can always email me and 00:34:15.800 --> 00:34:18.350 I can give you suggestions for places where you can look for that. 00:34:18.710 --> 00:34:21.290 I do guided body scans with people all the time. 00:34:21.290 --> 00:34:22.880 I just sort of do them off the top of my head. 00:34:22.880 --> 00:34:25.730 So we're not gonna get totally into that today. 00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:30.850 But just letting yourself start by noticing that sensory awareness. 00:34:30.850 --> 00:34:35.200 Starting by noticing your body just sitting here, the simple aspect of you're 00:34:35.200 --> 00:34:41.530 just a human body sitting here, breathing, and you can notice the points of contact. 00:34:41.590 --> 00:34:44.740 Maybe you can feel your leg against the chair or your back against the 00:34:44.740 --> 00:34:48.040 chair where you're sitting, or maybe your feet and your shoes on the ground. 00:34:50.450 --> 00:34:53.390 You can pause, and you can even use box breathing at the beginning of a 00:34:53.390 --> 00:34:56.930 body scan, just to note, okay, am I breathing or am I holding in my breath? 00:34:57.020 --> 00:35:00.170 A lot of times when I'm doing a guided body scan, I actually start with the feet. 00:35:00.200 --> 00:35:02.930 I don't start with the breath, so I just start with, okay, 00:35:02.930 --> 00:35:03.800 the whole body's sitting here. 00:35:03.800 --> 00:35:04.820 Then we move to the feet. 00:35:04.820 --> 00:35:07.010 Let's feel what the feet feel like in this moment. 00:35:07.520 --> 00:35:08.390 Do they feel cold? 00:35:08.390 --> 00:35:09.170 Do they feel hot? 00:35:09.170 --> 00:35:10.670 Does one feel different than the other? 00:35:10.700 --> 00:35:11.690 Are they cramping up? 00:35:11.750 --> 00:35:12.590 Are they relaxed? 00:35:12.590 --> 00:35:13.790 Is one different than another? 00:35:14.000 --> 00:35:19.100 And you move up to the ankles, the bottom half of the legs, the knees, top half 00:35:19.100 --> 00:35:21.350 of the legs, the lower part of the body. 00:35:21.350 --> 00:35:23.870 And then when we get to the lower part of the body, that's often when 00:35:23.870 --> 00:35:27.680 I pause with people to say, here's a place where you can start to recognize 00:35:27.710 --> 00:35:30.560 is your breathing held in fast? 00:35:30.560 --> 00:35:31.190 Is it slow? 00:35:31.190 --> 00:35:33.410 Whatever it is, we're just allowing it for a moment. 00:35:33.740 --> 00:35:37.220 And then if it is held in, we can let it out a little bit so that we can 00:35:37.220 --> 00:35:40.460 breathe back in again and just play with feeling what that feels like. 00:35:42.470 --> 00:35:45.350 And then we move up through all the different parts of the body. 00:35:46.490 --> 00:35:50.190 Everywhere through these different parts of the body, the torso, 00:35:50.190 --> 00:35:54.420 the back, the shoulders, the arms, the hands, the fingers. 00:35:54.420 --> 00:35:59.190 Then moving up into the neck, the throat, the back of the head, the 00:35:59.190 --> 00:36:04.290 top of the head, the forehead, and then all the muscles in the face. 00:36:04.620 --> 00:36:07.650 The eyes, the nose is another good place to notice breathing. 00:36:07.650 --> 00:36:10.650 There's a different temperature when the air comes in through your nose 00:36:11.700 --> 00:36:14.880 versus when it comes out, so it's a nice thing to have a sensory awareness of. 00:36:15.300 --> 00:36:16.920 Then we move into the lips, teeth, and tongue. 00:36:16.920 --> 00:36:20.340 Just noticing your own sensory awareness of what's happening. 00:36:20.610 --> 00:36:22.560 Jaw, jaw, muscles, the skin. 00:36:22.560 --> 00:36:27.220 Also be a place if you hold any tension to just give yourself a little massage or let 00:36:27.220 --> 00:36:31.180 your jaw drop a little bit and notice the difference that happens when that happens. 00:36:31.540 --> 00:36:35.920 Moving into your chin, going up and noticing your ears, oh, does 00:36:35.920 --> 00:36:37.790 one ear feel, versus the other. 00:36:38.690 --> 00:36:41.930 Then layering on different kinds of sensory awareness. 00:36:41.930 --> 00:36:45.470 So from just the tactile sense, then we're starting to notice sounds. 00:36:46.430 --> 00:36:48.830 Then we're opening up to noticing what we see outside. 00:36:48.830 --> 00:36:53.630 So it's moving a little bit backwards from what we did before, but it's another 00:36:53.630 --> 00:36:57.620 way of really gaining sense of, oh, okay, I am in this present moment now. 00:36:58.310 --> 00:37:01.760 As I have written up here, and I gotta move this around so I can see it. 00:37:01.760 --> 00:37:02.210 There we go. 00:37:02.600 --> 00:37:05.990 So we start by noticing your whole body sitting here in this present moment. 00:37:05.990 --> 00:37:06.680 Simply breathing. 00:37:06.680 --> 00:37:09.680 Anytime you find the mind getting distracted from the focus on the 00:37:09.680 --> 00:37:12.140 body and the breath and the body, especially if somebody's guiding you. 00:37:12.560 --> 00:37:13.700 Totally okay. 00:37:14.210 --> 00:37:15.590 Once you notice it. 00:37:15.880 --> 00:37:19.510 I've heard from some mindfulness practitioners, it's up time to 00:37:19.510 --> 00:37:22.990 congratulate yourself for noticing, saying, yay, I caught myself. 00:37:22.990 --> 00:37:26.920 I'm coming back to the present moment, rather than, oh, no, I'm doing it wrong. 00:37:26.950 --> 00:37:30.690 Ugh, I missed everything that the guided meditation was saying. 00:37:31.050 --> 00:37:32.400 It absolutely doesn't matter. 00:37:32.460 --> 00:37:37.180 The point of meditation is more about returning again and again to 00:37:37.180 --> 00:37:39.760 the present moment, which some days you might have to do it a million 00:37:39.760 --> 00:37:42.970 times, and some days you might be able to stay there a little bit longer. 00:37:42.970 --> 00:37:46.930 It's just a way of checking in with what you need and then giving yourself 00:37:46.930 --> 00:37:48.010 a little bit of what you need. 00:37:48.610 --> 00:37:52.210 So when you catch yourself going off on a thought stream, rather than 00:37:52.210 --> 00:37:55.630 being in your body, you can just congratulate yourself for noticing 00:37:55.630 --> 00:37:56.860 and return to that present moment. 00:37:56.860 --> 00:38:00.980 Awareness again is more about returning to the awareness of the present rather 00:38:00.980 --> 00:38:04.950 than trying to relax because we're, again, we're letting ourself be in being 00:38:04.950 --> 00:38:09.060 mode where we don't have to try so hard, which I know that sometimes as parents, 00:38:09.060 --> 00:38:13.105 when we hear you don't have to try so hard it can trigger us, but it can also 00:38:13.105 --> 00:38:15.345 melt us into oh, thank you, thank you. 00:38:15.345 --> 00:38:17.815 I don't wanna have to feel like I'm trying so hard all the time. 00:38:18.575 --> 00:38:20.765 This comes up when people talk about sleeping too. 00:38:21.005 --> 00:38:25.205 Trying so hard to sleep, trying so hard to relax usually doesn't work. 00:38:25.715 --> 00:38:28.595 What we have to do is recognize what's happening, have an acceptance of what's 00:38:28.595 --> 00:38:33.995 happening in the present moment, and then eventually with time we our body will come 00:38:33.995 --> 00:38:36.155 to a natural state of rest and relaxation. 00:38:42.505 --> 00:38:43.915 Quick stress buster tools part two. 00:38:43.915 --> 00:38:48.130 I'm gonna move a little bit more quickly through some of these because some 00:38:48.130 --> 00:38:50.770 of these are things that you might experience, again, if you're going 00:38:50.770 --> 00:38:53.830 to meet with a therapist yourself or be part of a therapy group. 00:38:54.440 --> 00:38:57.340 I'll just give you a overview of how I use them. 00:38:57.560 --> 00:39:02.480 Stress buster tools part two is using imagination to manage overwhelm. 00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:05.780 This is something that I use a lot with adults, not just with kids. 00:39:05.780 --> 00:39:09.600 Because when adults go into more of a play space and an imagination space it 00:39:09.600 --> 00:39:14.100 takes us away from that adult thinking, thinking, thinking mode and doing, doing, 00:39:14.100 --> 00:39:17.100 doing mode and it just allows us to be in that play space that sometimes we're 00:39:17.100 --> 00:39:20.290 not giving ourself, permission to be in. 00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:26.030 Some of these exercises actually come from trauma-informed, evidence-based 00:39:26.030 --> 00:39:28.790 practices that are used to address trauma. 00:39:29.280 --> 00:39:33.450 I find that they can work for just about anybody in many different situations, 00:39:33.450 --> 00:39:36.030 even if you're not feeling like you're experiencing specific trauma. 00:39:36.120 --> 00:39:39.450 And again, like I said, we're all experiencing some level of it right 00:39:39.450 --> 00:39:43.200 now, which is why I've noticed that some people who've been in therapy before 00:39:43.570 --> 00:39:47.470 when the pandemic started, they were like, wow, I kind of feel like I have a 00:39:47.530 --> 00:39:51.550 little bit more of a handle on this than some people who haven't had to deal with 00:39:51.550 --> 00:39:55.970 a specific trauma or anxiety because they've learned some of these tools. 00:39:56.190 --> 00:40:00.520 Some of these can really help us both again, as individuals, but also as 00:40:00.520 --> 00:40:02.320 parents and just as a collective. 00:40:03.560 --> 00:40:07.250 One thing, and I found that I've been using this a lot lately with people is 00:40:07.250 --> 00:40:09.140 something called the container exercise. 00:40:09.510 --> 00:40:12.870 This is something that I think helps with overwhelm because a lot of times we feel 00:40:12.870 --> 00:40:16.830 like there's just thoughts and emotions and physical sensations and memories and 00:40:16.830 --> 00:40:18.270 stuff just spilling all over the place. 00:40:18.270 --> 00:40:21.150 It can be pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral, but it just feels overwhelming 00:40:21.150 --> 00:40:24.030 because there's too much, you know, sometimes you can go and say, 00:40:24.030 --> 00:40:26.190 okay, well I'm gonna write myself a list and I'm gonna put it down, 00:40:26.190 --> 00:40:27.870 but sometimes it can be too much. 00:40:28.260 --> 00:40:30.480 Like too many layers to be able to list. 00:40:30.600 --> 00:40:35.460 And some of the stuff that's also in there is stuff that we can't even put words to. 00:40:35.460 --> 00:40:39.560 So we have a hard time because it's maybe just a feeling or it's a fuzzy 00:40:39.560 --> 00:40:42.380 memory of something that's been bothering us and we can't really 00:40:42.930 --> 00:40:44.310 approach it or put words to it. 00:40:44.730 --> 00:40:47.610 And so this allows us to do something with our imagination 00:40:47.640 --> 00:40:49.290 that allows some containment. 00:40:50.010 --> 00:40:54.730 To where we're not trying so hard to push it away or avoid it or get rid of 00:40:54.730 --> 00:40:57.600 it, or try and fix it in the moment. 00:40:57.870 --> 00:40:59.790 But we're saying, okay, I'm gonna place this over here. 00:40:59.790 --> 00:41:02.400 I'm gonna organize it and I will get to it. 00:41:02.400 --> 00:41:04.920 I'll kind of get to it in a one at a time fashion. 00:41:05.470 --> 00:41:08.110 And we use this in therapy, especially when we're doing trauma work because 00:41:08.110 --> 00:41:10.840 there's a lot of stuff that can just sort of pop up and we wanna make 00:41:10.840 --> 00:41:14.290 sure that after a therapy session, it's not just spilling out all over 00:41:14.290 --> 00:41:15.670 the place and getting in our way. 00:41:16.690 --> 00:41:20.710 So with the container exercise, with your imagination, and you can try this 00:41:20.710 --> 00:41:23.470 right now if you like, if it feels like it's gonna be helpful for you, 00:41:23.470 --> 00:41:29.670 just identifying and describing the details of a container that you feel 00:41:29.670 --> 00:41:35.190 would safely hold, distressing thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, 00:41:36.750 --> 00:41:38.340 and also distressing memories. 00:41:38.340 --> 00:41:40.720 So there might be things that are distressing memories or there 00:41:40.720 --> 00:41:43.810 might be things that you're sort of like anticipating with anxiety. 00:41:45.190 --> 00:41:48.100 Those are things that we can also put into this container. 00:41:48.100 --> 00:41:50.740 So the first part of it's kind of fun and you can use this, I've done 00:41:50.740 --> 00:41:52.660 this with art making with people. 00:41:53.090 --> 00:41:57.080 You can do this while journaling or you can just do it in your imagination. 00:41:57.080 --> 00:42:00.380 If you feel like, Ugh, I don't really wanna go there, that feels too stressful. 00:42:01.310 --> 00:42:05.960 But it's just imagining a container that can safely hold all of these things. 00:42:05.960 --> 00:42:09.110 Now some people come up with something that they've seen in the world, 00:42:09.110 --> 00:42:14.570 like a jar or a trunk or something that they have in their possession. 00:42:14.570 --> 00:42:16.820 Usually I try to steer people into something that's a little more 00:42:16.820 --> 00:42:20.690 imaginative so they don't feel so attached to the thing that sometimes 00:42:20.690 --> 00:42:22.220 has emotional attachments to. 00:42:23.990 --> 00:42:26.900 But we're just imagining this container. 00:42:26.990 --> 00:42:28.550 It could be big, it could be small. 00:42:28.550 --> 00:42:30.020 It absolutely doesn't matter. 00:42:30.020 --> 00:42:32.090 It's just whatever you feel like, ooh, that feels safe. 00:42:32.090 --> 00:42:34.520 And maybe we feel like there's a certain kind of latch or locking 00:42:34.520 --> 00:42:38.540 mechanism on it that when we close it up, we can feel like it's even safer. 00:42:39.120 --> 00:42:43.140 It can be something that is completely imaginary, like something kind of sci-fi. 00:42:43.140 --> 00:42:45.630 The one that I've come up with for myself is a little bit sci-fi. 00:42:46.050 --> 00:42:50.930 It's like a round, sort of oblong egg kind of thing that's really tough metal 00:42:50.930 --> 00:42:57.110 and when you close it, the opening seals up so that nobody else can open 00:42:57.110 --> 00:42:58.640 it and know how to open it, but me. 00:43:00.170 --> 00:43:03.170 And so again, you can go anywhere with this from 00:43:03.170 --> 00:43:04.460 something that's really concrete. 00:43:04.460 --> 00:43:08.040 People have said things about ball jars tend to come up a lot because those 00:43:08.040 --> 00:43:09.750 tend to feel like they're very secure. 00:43:10.410 --> 00:43:11.950 Sometimes trunks, things like that. 00:43:12.795 --> 00:43:16.005 So what you're gonna do is just with your imagination, identify and 00:43:16.005 --> 00:43:19.575 describe the details for yourself of a container that you would feel safely 00:43:20.275 --> 00:43:22.915 it can hold distressing thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, 00:43:22.915 --> 00:43:24.385 distressing memories, things like that. 00:43:24.655 --> 00:43:29.785 And then one by one, what we do is we take, using our imagination, we imagine 00:43:29.785 --> 00:43:34.915 ourselves physically placing those different things into the container. 00:43:35.635 --> 00:43:39.595 And we wanna slow down this process because there is an aspect of this. 00:43:39.595 --> 00:43:40.945 This is the secret I'm gonna tell you. 00:43:40.945 --> 00:43:46.345 The aspect of this is the empowering feeling of you have control 00:43:46.345 --> 00:43:47.995 over this in your imagination. 00:43:48.025 --> 00:43:53.675 To place this in here just a little bit, shifts the mind's perspective again, 00:43:53.675 --> 00:43:57.905 to being able to say, okay, don't have to deal with all of this Right now. 00:43:58.145 --> 00:43:58.865 It's there. 00:43:58.865 --> 00:44:00.455 I can go into it when I need to. 00:44:01.265 --> 00:44:03.755 It might try to bust its way out and pop out, but it's, 00:44:03.815 --> 00:44:05.585 I can put it back in, right? 00:44:06.410 --> 00:44:09.770 Kind of like the thoughts, it's like just noting them and putting 'em back in. 00:44:09.950 --> 00:44:12.050 So you can do this as a meditation as well. 00:44:12.530 --> 00:44:15.080 And so there's a lot of different suggestions for, well, how do 00:44:15.080 --> 00:44:16.310 I put those things in there? 00:44:16.370 --> 00:44:19.970 If it's something that feels like a picture, that's a still picture, you 00:44:19.970 --> 00:44:22.520 could imagine shrinking the picture down. 00:44:22.520 --> 00:44:25.670 You could imagine you have a special remote control that takes 00:44:25.670 --> 00:44:27.020 the color out of the picture. 00:44:27.020 --> 00:44:31.260 If there's color in it you can imagine folding it up and putting 00:44:31.260 --> 00:44:32.550 it in there so that it fits. 00:44:32.910 --> 00:44:36.210 You could imagine if it's words that keep popping up, you can imagine 00:44:36.210 --> 00:44:40.530 writing it down on a piece of paper and invisible ink, folding that up, putting 00:44:40.530 --> 00:44:42.600 that in there and putting it away. 00:44:42.600 --> 00:44:48.480 And if it is something that is like a sort of abstract thing, like a smell or a 00:44:48.480 --> 00:44:53.580 fuzzy color of something that just feels not great to you, you can imagine putting 00:44:53.580 --> 00:44:57.465 that into a little vial or something, and closing it up, putting it away in there. 00:44:57.765 --> 00:45:02.325 If it's a sound, similarly, you can imagine recording it on a CD or a thumb 00:45:02.325 --> 00:45:07.515 drive, or just sort of like taking the sound and putting it in there. 00:45:08.265 --> 00:45:12.715 If it is a moving picture, similarly, you can imagine pausing the moving 00:45:12.715 --> 00:45:17.565 picture, shrinking it down, taking color out, anything, taking the 00:45:17.570 --> 00:45:20.160 volume out of it, muting it. 00:45:20.895 --> 00:45:22.995 Then being able to put it in the container. 00:45:22.995 --> 00:45:26.295 So you're just imagining all of these different things now, this actually came 00:45:26.295 --> 00:45:29.055 up recently with a client where they were like, yeah, but I have all of these 00:45:29.055 --> 00:45:31.935 priorities that are happening and if I put them away, then I'm gonna forget them. 00:45:32.505 --> 00:45:36.315 Not necessarily, it just will decrease the amount of stress that 00:45:36.315 --> 00:45:37.575 you have about these different things. 00:45:37.575 --> 00:45:40.665 And this is why sometimes people like to write them down or draw 00:45:40.665 --> 00:45:41.655 it out while they're doing it. 00:45:42.235 --> 00:45:45.625 I've often said, okay, maybe what's happening is you're 00:45:45.625 --> 00:45:46.855 having a stressful day. 00:45:47.215 --> 00:45:51.985 And in order to prioritize things, we just need to go, okay, I'm just doing 00:45:51.985 --> 00:45:53.785 this container exercise for the moment. 00:45:54.235 --> 00:45:58.375 I can always open it back up and take something out in five minutes, or I can 00:45:58.375 --> 00:46:01.435 put something else in there for a time being and then take something else out. 00:46:02.035 --> 00:46:06.155 So it's just this physical, imagining of placing these things in there. 00:46:06.575 --> 00:46:08.585 And then once you've gotten everything in there, it's just 00:46:08.585 --> 00:46:12.035 imagining closing it up, locking it up, making it as secure as possible. 00:46:13.160 --> 00:46:16.550 And then when you feel like everything is safely in there, the next thing 00:46:16.550 --> 00:46:20.210 I will say is, okay, well just let me know 'cause I'm not gonna be able 00:46:20.210 --> 00:46:21.500 to know exactly when you're done. 00:46:21.500 --> 00:46:24.980 It might take three seconds, it might take five minutes, it might take an hour 00:46:24.980 --> 00:46:28.430 to do this exercise with yourself until you feel like, okay, usually people 00:46:28.430 --> 00:46:33.770 say, oh, I feel a sense of activation has turned down, or I feel like I'm 00:46:33.770 --> 00:46:35.895 here or I feel like I have more energy. 00:46:35.895 --> 00:46:38.355 Or I feel a little bit clearer now that I've done that. 00:46:39.585 --> 00:46:42.885 And you can decide is that something that you wanna feel like Imaginally 00:46:42.885 --> 00:46:45.765 carrying around with you so that you can put things in it throughout the day? 00:46:46.035 --> 00:46:48.285 Or is it something you wanna put on somebody's shelf? 00:46:48.345 --> 00:46:51.705 Often as a therapist, I say, you can leave it here with me until the next time you 00:46:51.705 --> 00:46:56.115 come to therapy and we will definitely be able to address it and I'll remind you. 00:46:56.115 --> 00:47:00.135 But you're the only one who can actually open and close this container. 00:47:01.305 --> 00:47:04.245 So again, that's another way of being able to use, that's one way of being able to 00:47:04.245 --> 00:47:05.985 use your imagination to contain things. 00:47:07.350 --> 00:47:12.540 So the calm place exercise is just one of these, uh, sort of like going to 00:47:12.540 --> 00:47:14.550 your happy place kind of exercises. 00:47:15.040 --> 00:47:18.220 Yet the extra step is not just, Hey, go to your happy place. 00:47:18.220 --> 00:47:19.660 Think of something that makes you happy. 00:47:20.305 --> 00:47:23.305 It's moving from thinking into feeling with your senses. 00:47:23.515 --> 00:47:27.055 So you can do this again with art, with journaling, with writing, or you can do 00:47:27.055 --> 00:47:28.795 this by talking through it with somebody. 00:47:28.795 --> 00:47:31.495 Or you can just do it in your own imagination in your mind. 00:47:31.915 --> 00:47:35.515 And what we're doing is we're describing a place real or imaginary. 00:47:35.515 --> 00:47:40.010 We've gone everywhere from like a place I've been on vacation to a place up 00:47:40.010 --> 00:47:41.750 in the sky with rainbows and unicorns. 00:47:41.750 --> 00:47:43.160 It absolutely doesn't matter. 00:47:43.160 --> 00:47:46.250 It's something that makes you feel calm. 00:47:46.250 --> 00:47:49.910 It brings you peace and brings you some sort of sense of stability, which 00:47:49.910 --> 00:47:53.270 again, you can check in periodically with yourself and notice the calm 00:47:53.270 --> 00:47:57.470 happening in your muscles, relaxing in the activation level, moving down and 00:47:57.470 --> 00:47:59.870 maybe a cloud lifting, feeling clarity. 00:48:00.440 --> 00:48:04.040 So you're basically thinking of a place real or imaginary that brings 00:48:04.040 --> 00:48:06.860 you peace, common stability, and moving through the five senses to 00:48:06.860 --> 00:48:08.510 describe each aspect in detail. 00:48:09.150 --> 00:48:12.070 Colors, shapes, who's in the scene with you? 00:48:12.070 --> 00:48:14.290 Is there anybody or is there nobody in the scene? 00:48:14.290 --> 00:48:19.600 Are they animals, plants, describing them in as much detail as possible and then 00:48:19.600 --> 00:48:21.340 going through, you know, what do you see? 00:48:21.340 --> 00:48:22.810 What do you hear in this place? 00:48:22.810 --> 00:48:24.580 What do you feel in this place? 00:48:24.580 --> 00:48:26.410 What does the temperature of the air feel like? 00:48:26.410 --> 00:48:27.040 Is it night? 00:48:27.040 --> 00:48:27.670 Is it day? 00:48:28.430 --> 00:48:29.330 What do you smell? 00:48:29.330 --> 00:48:31.640 Is there something that you smell or taste in this space? 00:48:31.820 --> 00:48:35.360 Our memory for senses is really great, especially in our imagination 00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:38.840 for senses can be really cool that I'm always surprised when I'm 00:48:38.840 --> 00:48:43.410 like, oh, I imagine tasting this thing that I really, really love. 00:48:43.440 --> 00:48:46.260 I can actually, if I sit there for a moment, I can actually taste it. 00:48:46.710 --> 00:48:47.850 Brain is pretty amazing. 00:48:48.930 --> 00:48:51.300 And so what we're doing is doing that kind of calm place 00:48:51.300 --> 00:48:52.980 exercise through your senses. 00:48:53.775 --> 00:48:58.765 Through the use of your senses in imaginary way to gain a sense of calm 00:48:58.765 --> 00:49:00.475 and being able to reduce overwhelm. 00:49:01.315 --> 00:49:04.225 So as I mentioned on the bottom, these can be used with or without 00:49:04.285 --> 00:49:05.665 art and our craft materials. 00:49:05.665 --> 00:49:07.795 Incorporating the use of art materials within the creative 00:49:07.795 --> 00:49:10.465 process can allow for increased present moment sensory awareness. 00:49:10.465 --> 00:49:13.225 A lot of times when I'm doing art with people, and especially 00:49:13.225 --> 00:49:15.625 even when I'm doing telehealth with people, we can still do it. 00:49:16.165 --> 00:49:20.215 We're able to, when we're using a marker or a crayon or a paintbrush, 00:49:21.145 --> 00:49:24.685 feel the paper, hear the sound of the paintbrush on the paper. 00:49:24.715 --> 00:49:27.685 So we're really still focusing on the sensory awareness of it. 00:49:28.495 --> 00:49:31.765 Almost as if we would when we were a little child before we had all of these 00:49:31.765 --> 00:49:33.235 thoughts attached to all this stuff. 00:49:35.035 --> 00:49:38.665 So now we get to quick stress buster number three. 00:49:39.205 --> 00:49:44.445 Part three, using imagination to regulate vulnerable emotional states and this is 00:49:44.445 --> 00:49:48.135 also where I'm gonna move more quickly through this, partially because of time, 00:49:48.135 --> 00:49:52.045 but also because this is something that I think is helpful to have a trained 00:49:52.045 --> 00:49:53.635 professional working with you on. 00:49:54.155 --> 00:49:57.660 If you're not in a place where you feel particularly stressed, this can be a 00:49:57.810 --> 00:50:01.470 fun thing to play around with and also potentially with your children as well. 00:50:02.170 --> 00:50:06.250 The first exercise is attending to the child self and importing support and there 00:50:06.280 --> 00:50:08.410 are multitude of ways that we can do this. 00:50:08.680 --> 00:50:14.590 The idea of importing imaginal support into maybe a memory of ourself as a 00:50:14.590 --> 00:50:19.270 child that we have, where we didn't have the support we needed in order 00:50:19.270 --> 00:50:21.060 to meet our needs at that moment. 00:50:21.520 --> 00:50:24.250 Again, this is why this is something that I think often a trained professional 00:50:24.250 --> 00:50:27.150 can help you with because we can start to feel unsteady when these kinds of 00:50:27.150 --> 00:50:30.600 things come up, depending on what's hap happened in our childhood and our life. 00:50:31.560 --> 00:50:34.200 So it's just basically using that exercise to attend to what your 00:50:34.200 --> 00:50:38.040 child self would need when you're experiencing vulnerability or distress. 00:50:38.560 --> 00:50:41.050 We think about these simple common child needs, right? 00:50:41.080 --> 00:50:41.740 A hug. 00:50:42.235 --> 00:50:42.865 Play. 00:50:42.865 --> 00:50:44.035 I want to nap. 00:50:44.575 --> 00:50:45.535 I need space. 00:50:45.535 --> 00:50:46.825 I need love and kindness. 00:50:46.855 --> 00:50:48.925 I need to move, I need laughter. 00:50:49.285 --> 00:50:54.145 So really what this helps with when we're importing that kind of support. 00:50:54.145 --> 00:50:57.445 So it might be a wise figure that comes in and brings it to us. 00:50:57.775 --> 00:51:01.795 It might be imagining that there is something abstract, like a 00:51:01.795 --> 00:51:05.215 color of something comes in and it gives us a hug that we need. 00:51:05.695 --> 00:51:08.485 And again, it's not negating what happened in your past when you're 00:51:08.485 --> 00:51:12.295 thinking of those kinds of things, it's just attending to the child self. 00:51:12.295 --> 00:51:15.805 So a lot of times when we talk about vulnerability or stress, when 00:51:15.805 --> 00:51:19.345 the activation of fight or flight comes in, it's often hearkening 00:51:19.345 --> 00:51:23.425 back to it's re responding and reacting to what we experience 00:51:23.425 --> 00:51:25.135 first and learn first as a child. 00:51:25.675 --> 00:51:31.285 And so sometimes the need to help us calm down in that moment might not have been 00:51:31.285 --> 00:51:35.095 fully met for all of us, no matter whether we grew up in a wonderful household 00:51:35.095 --> 00:51:36.955 with very caring parents and family. 00:51:38.185 --> 00:51:39.625 There were other things going on. 00:51:40.075 --> 00:51:43.885 There are oftentimes where our emotions will rise up and we will later go, 00:51:43.915 --> 00:51:45.775 oh my God, I just had a tantrum. 00:51:45.805 --> 00:51:46.105 Right? 00:51:47.335 --> 00:51:50.545 I've had these happen specifically while remote learning is happening. 00:51:50.995 --> 00:51:54.295 Maybe some of you have as well, but where we have to pause 00:51:54.295 --> 00:51:55.495 and go, Ooh, wait a minute. 00:51:56.665 --> 00:51:58.945 I don't need to change what's happening in front of me. 00:51:58.945 --> 00:52:00.685 I don't need to change the kid. 00:52:01.075 --> 00:52:03.355 I don't need to do something to fix this. 00:52:03.595 --> 00:52:06.295 I need to attend to something that's happening in me first. 00:52:06.295 --> 00:52:08.485 So this is putting your oxygen mask on first, right? 00:52:09.295 --> 00:52:12.115 Maybe I need to do something that feels like a hug. 00:52:12.115 --> 00:52:14.875 It doesn't mean actually giving yourself a hug or getting a hug sometimes. 00:52:14.875 --> 00:52:17.185 Sometimes it might be like, oh, I need to put my hands in warm 00:52:17.185 --> 00:52:18.355 water, or something like that. 00:52:18.875 --> 00:52:23.045 Maybe play and laughter means I just need to look at something funny and laugh about 00:52:23.045 --> 00:52:24.845 it and be intentional about it, right? 00:52:24.845 --> 00:52:25.535 For a moment. 00:52:26.165 --> 00:52:28.325 Oh, my child just really needs this. 00:52:28.775 --> 00:52:31.595 And so in order for the child to calm down enough for the adult to 00:52:31.595 --> 00:52:33.335 come in and balance out with it. 00:52:34.895 --> 00:52:38.310 Sometimes we need to do that and these importing support exercises. 00:52:38.310 --> 00:52:41.370 A lot of times I'll just go through that imaginal exercise of imagine 00:52:41.370 --> 00:52:45.090 yourself when you're noticing the child self come in and if you feel this 00:52:45.090 --> 00:52:49.080 tight sense, when's the earliest time that you can remember feeling that? 00:52:49.740 --> 00:52:52.020 Start to notice the imagery that comes up. 00:52:52.470 --> 00:52:55.740 And they might say, oh, it was me at five years old and here I am and 00:52:55.740 --> 00:52:56.910 I'm on the floor and I'm crying. 00:52:57.600 --> 00:53:00.030 And so we're imagining, oh, what would you have liked? 00:53:00.160 --> 00:53:03.340 Even if this is not changing the past, it's just attending to 00:53:03.340 --> 00:53:08.080 the present moment, need of the vulnerability is happening in us. 00:53:08.740 --> 00:53:13.070 So it might bringing in a special something or otherwise figure to calm 00:53:13.070 --> 00:53:14.960 us down with words or with actions. 00:53:15.590 --> 00:53:19.490 Or it might be then re recognizing, okay, this reminds me of what I need to be doing 00:53:19.490 --> 00:53:24.110 more for myself outside of my imagination in order to attend to this part of myself. 00:53:25.275 --> 00:53:28.235 Then the next exercise is letting go of what is not yours. 00:53:28.235 --> 00:53:33.545 So this is a boundary setting exercise, imagining something or someone holding 00:53:33.545 --> 00:53:36.275 it for you or giving it back to someone who's actually responsible for it. 00:53:36.275 --> 00:53:39.305 So a lot of times this happens when we're in interactions with somebody 00:53:39.785 --> 00:53:42.545 specifically at other adults, whether it's at work or it's our 00:53:42.545 --> 00:53:44.795 family or friends or whatever it is. 00:53:45.275 --> 00:53:51.005 And when you can not actually physically say, here, take that 00:53:51.005 --> 00:53:52.445 back, you're being annoying. 00:53:52.595 --> 00:53:54.905 You know, it might not help for you to say it to that person. 00:53:55.325 --> 00:53:59.555 You're using an imagination exercise within yourself. 00:53:59.555 --> 00:54:02.075 And again, this is practicing this even before, so that maybe 00:54:02.075 --> 00:54:05.495 it just happens more quickly when you're in the moment of like, whoa. 00:54:05.915 --> 00:54:09.355 I just got some stuff got dumped on me, that's not mine. 00:54:09.935 --> 00:54:12.785 It might be something that you even see in the news that you get caught 00:54:12.785 --> 00:54:16.235 up in, or it might be something that you've heard about or read about. 00:54:16.655 --> 00:54:20.195 And we have to stop and go, wait a minute, is that mine to be responsible for? 00:54:20.705 --> 00:54:22.145 I don't think that's mine to be responsible for. 00:54:22.145 --> 00:54:24.365 This also can happen sometimes with children. 00:54:24.365 --> 00:54:27.605 We're not gonna physically go to kids and say, Hey, take that back. 00:54:27.605 --> 00:54:29.015 You just dumped something on me. 00:54:29.505 --> 00:54:33.525 There's different ways to be able to language that with kids, but we might 00:54:33.525 --> 00:54:36.765 have to start to notice things like, and I'll just give you an example. 00:54:37.695 --> 00:54:42.915 I'm noticing that sometimes I would be in an interaction with a teacher, 00:54:42.915 --> 00:54:47.775 an administrator, or it's like I'm feeling their stuff and it's not 00:54:47.775 --> 00:54:49.215 anything that's wrong with anybody. 00:54:49.215 --> 00:54:50.655 We're all dealing with stuff right now. 00:54:50.655 --> 00:54:53.775 But in my mind, in order for me to calm down and be able to communicate 00:54:53.775 --> 00:54:56.805 what I need to communicate, I need to not get so caught up in 00:54:56.805 --> 00:54:58.455 what that other person is feeling. 00:54:58.845 --> 00:55:01.905 And so in order to do that, I can do an imaginary exercise where maybe 00:55:01.905 --> 00:55:06.015 I'm imagining the stuff that they handed to me was a basket of things. 00:55:06.525 --> 00:55:11.715 And I'm imagining physically handing it gently back, stepping away and 00:55:11.715 --> 00:55:15.375 noticing the space that it feel that you start to feel when you go, okay, 00:55:15.885 --> 00:55:17.985 that wasn't mine to be responsible for. 00:55:19.825 --> 00:55:22.705 There's a lot of different ways that we can do these kinds of things 00:55:22.775 --> 00:55:24.335 but these are just a few examples. 00:55:25.610 --> 00:55:28.670 And one of the things that came up for me while I was putting this presentation 00:55:28.670 --> 00:55:34.870 together was a song that's based on a verse from the Prophet by Khalil Gibran. 00:55:35.720 --> 00:55:36.890 I did not spell that right. 00:55:37.340 --> 00:55:38.120 I apologize. 00:55:38.120 --> 00:55:38.310 Khalil Gibran. 00:55:38.900 --> 00:55:40.430 I need to redo that. 00:55:40.430 --> 00:55:46.290 His name is Khalil Gibran and the passage is called On Children and a group called 00:55:46.290 --> 00:55:51.030 Sweet Honey in the Rock, which is an acapella group of African American women. 00:55:51.930 --> 00:55:52.650 Amazing. 00:55:52.650 --> 00:55:53.340 One of my favorite. 00:55:53.340 --> 00:55:57.600 I did a lot of singing in college and we did a lot of their songs and 00:55:57.880 --> 00:56:01.530 it didn't really hit me until one of the lyrics that comes outta that is 00:56:01.530 --> 00:56:04.710 you can strive to be like them, but you cannot make them just like you. 00:56:05.310 --> 00:56:09.240 It starts out with your children are not your children. 00:56:09.300 --> 00:56:12.750 They are the sons and the daughters of life's longing for itself. 00:56:13.830 --> 00:56:16.980 They come through you, but they are not from you and though they are 00:56:16.980 --> 00:56:19.470 with you, they belong not to you. 00:56:20.100 --> 00:56:23.640 And it talks a lot about even our interactions with our children now. 00:56:23.640 --> 00:56:31.260 Like even when I start to say my son or my child, sometimes that languaging 00:56:31.260 --> 00:56:36.510 can wrap us up in feeling like we are so fully responsible and we want 00:56:36.510 --> 00:56:38.370 to mold and shape everything, right? 00:56:38.370 --> 00:56:43.440 That's coming from a really good place, but it can also edge into wanting to 00:56:43.870 --> 00:56:48.280 either control what's going on when it's not going the way that we feel 00:56:48.280 --> 00:56:49.900 like would be the most healthy for them. 00:56:50.410 --> 00:56:55.175 Or it might mean that we are getting very activated. 00:56:55.445 --> 00:56:57.695 And both of those things often happen at the same time. 00:56:58.155 --> 00:57:01.035 What we have to do is pull back and go, this is a separate 00:57:01.035 --> 00:57:02.625 person with a separate brain. 00:57:02.835 --> 00:57:03.195 Yes. 00:57:03.195 --> 00:57:07.515 Maybe they came from me or maybe I adopted them and I've done a lot of shaping. 00:57:07.935 --> 00:57:11.535 But it is being able to separate yourself from them and going, they're 00:57:11.535 --> 00:57:14.895 a separate person from me and they're gonna have all these experiences and 00:57:14.895 --> 00:57:19.125 I can give them as much as I can and I can help them with as much as I can. 00:57:20.025 --> 00:57:24.045 But ultimately they're going to be walking that path with themselves. 00:57:24.405 --> 00:57:27.285 I think that these lyrics really speak to this idea of what's 00:57:27.285 --> 00:57:29.985 happening a lot, especially during this pandemic and especially with 00:57:29.985 --> 00:57:31.755 the way education is going right now. 00:57:32.365 --> 00:57:37.255 We can tend to either have a perfectionistic attitude toward wanting 00:57:37.255 --> 00:57:39.295 our kids to like complete everything. 00:57:39.445 --> 00:57:41.545 I know that I've experienced that and I had to go, wait 00:57:41.545 --> 00:57:42.745 a minute, this is my stuff. 00:57:42.775 --> 00:57:48.925 He doesn't do things the same way I do and or we may have not done well in school and 00:57:48.925 --> 00:57:51.355 we want our kids to do better than we did. 00:57:51.715 --> 00:57:56.485 And so we are striving to get them to be like a certain thing that we want it to 00:57:56.485 --> 00:58:00.955 be when really a lot of this is coming back and going, oh, this is my own stuff. 00:58:00.955 --> 00:58:05.125 I have to take care of myself first, and I have to be able to process what's 00:58:05.125 --> 00:58:09.145 happening with myself so that I can allow them with all of the suggestions 00:58:09.145 --> 00:58:12.625 that I'm making to synthesize it and do what they need to do in the world. 00:58:12.805 --> 00:58:14.005 And as I'm saying this. 00:58:14.440 --> 00:58:17.590 Please know, like I said in the beginning, I have to remind myself 00:58:17.590 --> 00:58:20.260 to do this every single moment of the day with my own child. 00:58:21.130 --> 00:58:25.330 It's a lot harder to be a parent of a child than it was for me to 00:58:25.330 --> 00:58:27.790 just be a therapist of a child who goes away, or a teacher. 00:58:27.820 --> 00:58:31.390 It's still hard, but there's something a little bit different because we get 00:58:31.390 --> 00:58:35.350 very wrapped up in the connection, forgetting that we need to separate 00:58:35.350 --> 00:58:40.150 ourselves from the child themself and the beautiful child that they are. 00:58:41.590 --> 00:58:44.020 So the last thing that I have, last couple things I have on here 00:58:44.020 --> 00:58:45.520 is that just a resource list. 00:58:45.760 --> 00:58:49.490 This is books, articles, podcasts, websites, different things that 00:58:49.490 --> 00:58:52.550 you can go to, to be able to learn some more about some of the 00:58:52.550 --> 00:58:53.900 things that we talked about today. 00:58:54.330 --> 00:58:57.645 There's a wonderful article on here called Your Surge Capacity is Depleted. 00:58:57.645 --> 00:59:00.150 It's Why You Feel Awful by Tara Hael. 00:59:00.150 --> 00:59:01.260 I think that's how you say her name. 00:59:01.770 --> 00:59:04.710 It's talking about how at the beginning of the pandemic, we all felt 00:59:04.710 --> 00:59:06.780 like the surge of like adrenaline. 00:59:06.780 --> 00:59:10.020 It's like when you're in the midst of a traumatic situation and we're like, 00:59:10.020 --> 00:59:11.280 go, okay, I'm gonna do these things. 00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:12.750 I'm gonna do these, I'm gonna do this thing. 00:59:12.780 --> 00:59:16.710 Sometimes that can happen and drop pretty quickly for some people, but for a lot of 00:59:16.710 --> 00:59:18.390 parents it was like, okay, what can I do? 00:59:18.390 --> 00:59:18.810 What can I do? 00:59:18.810 --> 00:59:23.470 What can I do now we're six, seven, almost eight months in, and that surge 00:59:23.470 --> 00:59:25.570 capacity is feeling depleted and depleted. 00:59:25.570 --> 00:59:29.830 And in order to really take care of it to get back on, we have 00:59:29.830 --> 00:59:31.690 to go back to these very simple. 00:59:32.350 --> 00:59:36.100 Simple kinds of things instead of trying so hard to do the best 00:59:36.190 --> 00:59:38.300 ever we'll get to that, right? 00:59:38.450 --> 00:59:41.780 It's just being able to come back and get simple and take care of ourselves. 00:59:43.410 --> 00:59:46.860 Then the last thing is just my card with my information on it. 00:59:46.860 --> 00:59:50.825 So if you want to get in contact with me for any reason, please feel free. 00:59:50.880 --> 00:59:53.100 I love to answer questions for people. 00:59:53.380 --> 00:59:55.960 I can tell you that I am full as of right now. 00:59:56.770 --> 01:00:00.700 That can change over time, but I am not able to take any new clients at this time. 01:00:00.700 --> 01:00:03.820 But I am happy to answer any questions via email or phone 01:00:04.220 --> 01:00:05.570 when I have the space and time. 01:00:05.570 --> 01:00:10.740 Also, I love directing people to other therapists who do this kind of work. 01:00:11.470 --> 01:00:15.580 JCMH is a wonderful, wonderful resource as you can see to be able 01:00:15.580 --> 01:00:16.960 to access a lot of this stuff. 01:00:17.420 --> 01:00:20.230 Yeah, any questions that you guys have, and I know we only have maybe two 01:00:20.230 --> 01:00:24.520 minutes left here, but if there are any questions that I can answer in the time 01:00:24.520 --> 01:00:26.290 that we have left, I'd be happy to do so. 01:00:26.290 --> 01:00:27.160 So thank you. 01:00:27.860 --> 01:00:29.180 I appreciate being able to do this. 01:00:30.110 --> 01:00:31.550 Julia: Thank you so much, Susanna. 01:00:31.550 --> 01:00:33.830 We do have just a couple of questions. 01:00:34.130 --> 01:00:36.960 We'll try and keep 'em brief in the essence of time. 01:00:37.320 --> 01:00:41.310 One person said, I felt myself becoming overwhelmed and stressed during remote 01:00:41.310 --> 01:00:45.608 learning and having to turn to a lot of these exercises more often than usual. 01:00:45.638 --> 01:00:48.308 How do I know when it's time to reach out for professional help? 01:00:48.788 --> 01:00:50.468 Susannah: I think that's a really excellent question. 01:00:50.468 --> 01:00:51.218 Thank you for that. 01:00:51.618 --> 01:00:56.118 Like I'd mentioned before, I think that one of the things that determines 01:00:56.118 --> 01:01:02.178 whether it's time to reach out for professional help is has it been getting 01:01:02.178 --> 01:01:04.458 in the way of other things in your life? 01:01:05.133 --> 01:01:08.423 Long enough that you feel like you're not able to use the kind of 01:01:08.423 --> 01:01:11.633 coping and distress tolerance field skills that you might normally use. 01:01:11.993 --> 01:01:17.053 That's also why like the access to therapy I think has gone up recently because 01:01:17.053 --> 01:01:20.383 people are starting to feel that surge capacity depleting and they're going, 01:01:20.443 --> 01:01:22.003 I don't know what else to do right now. 01:01:22.333 --> 01:01:26.143 Sometimes you can also think about this reaching out for professional help. 01:01:26.413 --> 01:01:29.773 There's a lot of stigma around it and I know that Jefferson Center probably talks 01:01:29.773 --> 01:01:37.273 about this a lot, but going to therapy before you are at complete crisis is often 01:01:37.393 --> 01:01:40.873 more helpful than waiting and waiting until you get to that crisis state. 01:01:40.873 --> 01:01:43.693 A lot of times people won't access therapy because they think, oh, 01:01:43.693 --> 01:01:47.953 that's only for somebody who's feeling such in such crisis that they have 01:01:47.983 --> 01:01:49.573 absolutely have nowhere else to turn. 01:01:50.443 --> 01:01:54.763 It's often more helpful when people come either just before that or 01:01:54.763 --> 01:01:58.213 long before that because then you're practicing things so that you can manage. 01:01:58.558 --> 01:01:59.968 Getting into that crisis state. 01:02:00.148 --> 01:02:04.588 So I would venture to say, if you are asking that question right 01:02:04.588 --> 01:02:07.978 now, it might be worth talking to some people that you trust. 01:02:08.398 --> 01:02:12.028 Just maybe working it out for yourself to say, okay, maybe this is a time 01:02:12.028 --> 01:02:13.808 for me to look into exploring that. 01:02:14.078 --> 01:02:17.228 We don't have to absolutely have a specific diagnosis 01:02:17.228 --> 01:02:18.548 to go and access therapy. 01:02:18.948 --> 01:02:22.218 Also when it comes down to it too, a lot of times people feel like, oh, this is 01:02:22.218 --> 01:02:23.958 an investment I have to pay for this. 01:02:24.348 --> 01:02:27.618 There are a lot of insurances that are paying for this right now, specifically 01:02:27.618 --> 01:02:29.708 paying for tele mental health. 01:02:30.188 --> 01:02:33.788 And I'm doing all of my stuff via telehealth right now. 01:02:33.788 --> 01:02:36.938 I work with, the only insurance company I work with is Medicaid, but I work 01:02:36.938 --> 01:02:40.958 with Colorado Access and I work with Colorado Community Health Alliance, 01:02:41.118 --> 01:02:45.798 and they pay clinicians like me so that you're not having to pay for the 01:02:45.798 --> 01:02:48.558 same kind of therapy that somebody might be paying a lot of money for. 01:02:48.868 --> 01:02:51.838 It might be worth exploring if the questions coming up. 01:02:52.288 --> 01:02:56.038 It doesn't mean that you have to commit to meeting with a therapist right now. 01:02:56.038 --> 01:02:59.338 It might just mean, hey go look on Psychology Today is a great place to 01:02:59.338 --> 01:03:00.928 search and look for different therapists. 01:03:00.978 --> 01:03:04.958 It might mean talking to somebody like me or somebody at JCMH or 01:03:05.813 --> 01:03:08.513 somebody else that's been through it and had a good experience. 01:03:08.513 --> 01:03:10.553 I think that's a good person to talk to is people who've 01:03:10.553 --> 01:03:11.993 had good experiences with it. 01:03:12.693 --> 01:03:14.343 Then just going, okay, well I can try it out. 01:03:14.343 --> 01:03:15.723 It doesn't mean you have to be locked in either. 01:03:15.723 --> 01:03:18.813 You could go to one session with a therapist and then be like, okay, done. 01:03:20.793 --> 01:03:24.603 So I hope that answers the question and if you have any more, please 01:03:24.603 --> 01:03:25.623 feel free to reach out to me. 01:03:26.553 --> 01:03:27.333 Julia: That's perfect. 01:03:27.333 --> 01:03:27.873 Thank you. 01:03:27.873 --> 01:03:31.293 Such great advice to just be willing to test it out and see what it 01:03:31.293 --> 01:03:35.103 looks like and, you know, you don't ever have to totally commit either. 01:03:35.473 --> 01:03:36.883 Just one more question. 01:03:36.883 --> 01:03:40.003 Someone asked if you have any apps that you would recommend. 01:03:40.003 --> 01:03:42.793 I know you mentioned Headspace, but any others that come to 01:03:42.793 --> 01:03:43.993 mind that you could recommend? 01:03:44.113 --> 01:03:44.503 Susannah: Yes. 01:03:44.503 --> 01:03:47.503 Well, I'm pretty biased with Headspace because I've been 01:03:47.503 --> 01:03:49.843 using it since like 2012 myself. 01:03:50.983 --> 01:03:53.923 And it's also a place where I've gathered a lot of the information 01:03:53.923 --> 01:03:56.923 that I use for my own guided meditations with my own clients. 01:03:57.343 --> 01:04:01.033 I just wanna start with talking about Headspace for a minute, because Headspace 01:04:01.033 --> 01:04:05.203 is offering a free thing for anyone that has a lot of distress things on 01:04:05.203 --> 01:04:06.913 it, a lot more than they had before. 01:04:07.033 --> 01:04:10.003 So if you go to Headspace and just do the free one, you can get a 01:04:10.003 --> 01:04:12.913 lot of different kinds of videos. 01:04:12.913 --> 01:04:15.583 It has guided meditations for different things. 01:04:15.923 --> 01:04:20.333 The other thing about Headspace is you can actually go online and look up Headspace. 01:04:20.633 --> 01:04:24.323 In YouTube and you can find videos that you might find on that app as 01:04:24.323 --> 01:04:26.273 well that are really, really great. 01:04:26.273 --> 01:04:28.763 They're both informative, but they also guide you through some 01:04:28.763 --> 01:04:29.993 of these kinds of exercises. 01:04:30.203 --> 01:04:33.953 The other thing I love about Headspace I've used with my kid for a long 01:04:33.953 --> 01:04:35.783 time is I'll show you this here. 01:04:35.963 --> 01:04:37.463 So they've actually expanded it. 01:04:37.793 --> 01:04:42.573 I don't know if you can see to where there is, at the bottom here, 01:04:42.573 --> 01:04:47.433 you can see there's a thing for focus, meditation, sleep, exercise. 01:04:47.543 --> 01:04:48.503 I've started using it. 01:04:48.533 --> 01:04:52.703 There's a move, the one that I have here, it has guided meditations for 01:04:52.703 --> 01:04:55.853 running, walking, and run walking. 01:04:56.063 --> 01:04:58.493 I've started running this summer only because I was listening 01:04:58.493 --> 01:04:59.843 to this while I was doing it. 01:04:59.903 --> 01:05:00.563 It's amazing. 01:05:00.563 --> 01:05:04.063 They do all sorts of yoga and strength exercises also on it. 01:05:04.433 --> 01:05:05.513 It's like a one-stop shop. 01:05:05.793 --> 01:05:09.493 There's a sleep thing that has all sorts of different kinds of videos, that you can 01:05:09.493 --> 01:05:13.003 use to help you with sleep, but then also guided meditations that they keep adding 01:05:13.003 --> 01:05:17.443 to with lots of different people leading these that are just absolutely amazing. 01:05:17.443 --> 01:05:19.393 I think they just added one called Moon Buggy. 01:05:20.023 --> 01:05:20.923 I dunno if you can see that. 01:05:21.893 --> 01:05:23.063 It's really cool. 01:05:23.373 --> 01:05:27.123 Then there's a focus one now where they have focus music. 01:05:27.123 --> 01:05:32.203 And I've actually recommended this to clients with kids when they can't focus. 01:05:32.443 --> 01:05:35.893 This is specific music that has been researched to help your brain 01:05:36.418 --> 01:05:38.398 be focused on what you're doing. 01:05:38.398 --> 01:05:39.478 You can play it in the background. 01:05:39.478 --> 01:05:41.548 You can have it on headphones while you're trying to get work done. 01:05:41.548 --> 01:05:43.768 I use it while I'm trying to do my paperwork. 01:05:44.038 --> 01:05:45.238 It has been amazing. 01:05:46.118 --> 01:05:48.848 Then lastly, the thing that I really, really love about it is 01:05:48.848 --> 01:05:52.538 that in the app, under meditation, there are very short things and 01:05:52.538 --> 01:05:55.118 very long meditations guided things. 01:05:55.658 --> 01:05:58.328 But they have a specific thing just for kids. 01:05:58.418 --> 01:06:02.168 And they've also partnered with Sesame Street to make videos on teaching 01:06:02.168 --> 01:06:05.318 kids breathing exercises and teaching them about different meditations 01:06:05.318 --> 01:06:09.668 for different things, whether it's relaxation and sleep focus, calming 01:06:09.668 --> 01:06:12.278 down, just managing emotional stuff. 01:06:12.278 --> 01:06:14.408 So I know I'm talking a lot about Headspace, but I 01:06:14.408 --> 01:06:16.238 can't say enough about it. 01:06:16.368 --> 01:06:18.878 The other thing I would say is that if you want the expanded version of 01:06:18.878 --> 01:06:22.408 Headspace, the other thing they're doing is for frontline workers, 01:06:22.438 --> 01:06:24.298 I believe healthcare workers. 01:06:24.688 --> 01:06:28.108 There's a list of other people that they're basically offering this to 01:06:28.108 --> 01:06:31.258 educators for free for this next year. 01:06:31.258 --> 01:06:35.848 The subscription's usually about $75 for the year, but they're offering it 01:06:36.028 --> 01:06:37.648 for everybody for this year for free. 01:06:37.648 --> 01:06:39.328 I'm pretty sure that's still going on. 01:06:39.778 --> 01:06:42.748 Also, they have podcasts, which I think I might've listed there too. 01:06:42.748 --> 01:06:46.838 But Headspace has created a daily podcast that there, there's a 01:06:46.838 --> 01:06:49.748 big library of, 'cause I started I think back in like June. 01:06:50.088 --> 01:06:53.478 They're gonna come back and do more, but it's like a daily Monday through Friday. 01:06:53.478 --> 01:06:56.298 Other apps I think that are really great, especially when we're talking 01:06:56.298 --> 01:07:01.288 about managing our own technology use is really, really important. 01:07:01.948 --> 01:07:05.548 Things like the Headspace app actually have different settings on them, like 01:07:05.548 --> 01:07:08.218 the, I don't know if you saw that, but the sleep one actually darkens 01:07:08.218 --> 01:07:10.948 the screen so that when you're looking at it at night and setting it up and 01:07:10.948 --> 01:07:14.548 putting it away somewhere to listen to, you're not getting that bright light. 01:07:14.788 --> 01:07:18.828 There's a lot of different things on your computer and your phone in 01:07:18.828 --> 01:07:20.628 particular that you can do to set. 01:07:20.628 --> 01:07:23.748 I know on the iPhone they've now set things where you can set a timer that 01:07:23.748 --> 01:07:25.338 says, hey it's time to go to sleep now. 01:07:26.238 --> 01:07:30.318 Because as adults we need that more than ever, just as much as kids do. 01:07:30.468 --> 01:07:32.838 And again, this is about putting our oxygen mask on first and 01:07:32.838 --> 01:07:34.448 about being able to walk the talk. 01:07:34.838 --> 01:07:39.188 I am notorious for being like, oh my gosh, I've been on my phone forever. 01:07:39.188 --> 01:07:40.148 I need to put it away. 01:07:40.358 --> 01:07:45.218 But it's that catching yourself and being able to set maybe reminders and timers and 01:07:45.218 --> 01:07:48.668 things like that, it might be worth just exploring your phone with somebody who, if 01:07:48.668 --> 01:07:51.608 you don't have the technological know-how, talking to somebody else who does. 01:07:51.608 --> 01:07:55.028 I refer to my husband all the time because he knows about all of these 01:07:55.028 --> 01:07:58.268 different tricks and I don't always all the time, but I love learning about them. 01:07:58.988 --> 01:08:04.238 Just to help us go through and be able to shut things off and shut things down. 01:08:04.508 --> 01:08:07.028 The other app that I've heard a lot of wonderful things about, but 01:08:07.028 --> 01:08:10.358 I just never really connected with it myself, is an app called Calm. 01:08:10.868 --> 01:08:15.428 So basically if you go into your app store and you just put in guided 01:08:15.428 --> 01:08:19.718 meditation, or you put in relaxation or mindfulness or meditation, you're gonna 01:08:19.718 --> 01:08:21.128 find a whole lot of different things. 01:08:21.178 --> 01:08:24.538 My suggestion is just try 'em out, see what works for you, because I 01:08:24.538 --> 01:08:27.268 could talk about Headspace all day and somebody over here is gonna be 01:08:27.268 --> 01:08:29.368 like, no, that didn't really work for me I like this other thing. 01:08:29.908 --> 01:08:32.338 But it's worth looking it up and seeing what kinds of things 01:08:32.338 --> 01:08:34.708 compare to it, because I think they can be really helpful. 01:08:36.208 --> 01:08:36.598 Julia: Awesome. 01:08:36.628 --> 01:08:39.838 Thank you so much, and thank you everyone who is able to attend today. 01:08:40.268 --> 01:08:42.608 No matter what you're facing in life, like if you're feeling 01:08:42.608 --> 01:08:46.568 overwhelmed, worried, or stressed, Jefferson Center is here for you. 01:08:46.568 --> 01:08:50.048 We are open, accepting new clients and accessing care is easier than 01:08:50.048 --> 01:08:52.038 ever with our virtual appointments. 01:08:52.368 --> 01:08:55.788 Visit our website at jcmh.org or follow us on Facebook for 01:08:55.788 --> 01:08:57.378 more resources and information. 01:08:57.648 --> 01:09:03.448 You can also reach us by calling (303) 425-0300. 01:09:03.588 --> 01:09:05.958 Again, thank you everyone and have a great day. 01:09:06.318 --> 01:09:06.978 Susannah: Thank you.